Showing Grace: 7 Practical Insights for Growth

Dawn came too early today—like an interruption to a night that went too fast. As the first rays of light poured through the windowpane, I asked God to fill me with his grace for the day ahead. Showing grace is never easy when we’re weary and on the brink of burnout.

I went to bed late thinking about writing projects, our child’s science fair project, and what I was going to send to school for snack day. My mind raced for hours. When dawn came too soon, I had no desire to race into anything.

I brushed my teeth thoughtlessly, and the impending nature of my to-do list weighed me down.

Showing Grace: Practical Insights

I raced through my daily routine of Bible reading and coffee without a single prayer. Little footsteps stirred before I finished checking the weather forecast.

Six-year-old Bekah awoke first, and for this I was thankful. Once her little brother Caleb hits the ground, quiet moments cease.

My sweet girl smiled at me sleepily and sat down to watch cartoons. My heart smiled watching her, and then I returned to my to-do list.

The morning progressed at the same pace.

Several hours later, sometime near ten o’clock in the morning, I was halfway through writing an article when Caleb toddled over and asked me a hopeful question.

“Creek today?” he asked.

A trip to the creek wasn’t on my to-do list, and I considered my options.

I’m not good at embracing interruptions.

Showing Grace When Your Plans Are Interrupted

I wish my kids were never interruptions. Sadly, my personality often leads me to focus on tasks over people—even the people I love most.

I sat with Caleb’s question and thought about showing grace.

“Sure, buddy,” I finally answered. “Let’s head to the creek.”

We spent the afternoon searching for frogs and building sandcastles. As I reflected on it later, I was reminded of the importance of showing grace to others—even when we’re weary and worn.

7 Ways to Grow in Grace

Perhaps you want to grow in grace, too. Here are seven practical insights to help you grow in this area.

1. Learn to receive God’s interruptions with open hands.

When God interrupts my perfectly crafted plans, I often brush aside the interruption and press forward with both eyes on my goal.

Sadly, when I dismiss God’s divine interruptions (such as children who want to go to the woods), I also miss the joy and fulfillment I could have experienced by receiving the interruption.

Do you want to grow in grace?

Learn to receive interruptions as gifts from God’s hands. This takes repeated practice. Yet as you learn to embrace God’s divine interruptions, you will also grow in showing grace.

2. Hold others with care.

A vital part of showing grace in our relationships includes learning to hold others with care.

My husband often reminds our son to treat me gently. He says, “Remember to treat mom like a baby peep.”

I find this image hilarious and helpful.

If you haven’t held a warm, fuzzy peep lately, I invite you to take a moment and think about the way you would hold a peep. You would offer it space to move without dropping it. You would handle it with great care.

Showing grace includes holding others with great care. We give our friends the space to distance themselves from us at times but also welcome them when they return. We allow our loved ones to learn some of life’s lessons the hard way, and we remain available and supportive in the aftermath.

Holding others with care includes being close and attentive at certain times and offering space and grace at other times.

As a young peep grows, it might even need space to hop out of our hands and explore the world. Our loved ones need this space at times, too.

I often remind our teenage daughter to hold her friends with an open palm, allowing them to distance themselves at times and welcoming them back if they return in search of close friendship. Would any of your relationships be healthier by extending this kind of grace?

3. Resist the urge to play the role of the Holy Spirit.

We show grace to others when we resist the urge to play the Holy Spirit.

This often unfolds in marriages when one spouse sets out to “fix” the other. Most marriages face this; yet over time, we learn that it’s best to leave the work of sanctification to the Holy Spirit.

Have you noticed that trying to get your spouse to feel convicted about certain behaviors never works?

We can easily step into the Holy Spirit’s role in our parenting and friendships, too.

Be careful about trying to heal, restore, or fix what seems broken in the life of someone you care about. God calls you to show grace by being a source of love and support. Leave the transformation to the Holy Spirit.

4. Accept the reality that everyone has bad days.

Years ago, an older woman gave me the following advice: “Give your husband permission to have a bad day.”

Her words have helped our marriage more than she will ever know.

Everyone has bad days. Instead of expecting our spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and loved ones to be perfect, we show grace by realizing that all people have bad days.

Is your husband being especially cranky? Is your child ultra-moody?

If this behavior is worse than normal, perhaps it’s just a bad day. Talk to God before you break into a lecture. Your loved one might simply need permission to have a bad day.

5. Love others through their weaknesses.

We all have weaknesses.

What if we stopped holding the weaknesses of others against them, extended grace, and loved them through their weaknesses?

Is your husband or child perpetually late, messy, or too loud?

Perhaps it’s time to leave the sanctifying work to the Holy Spirit and love him through his weakness. Meanwhile, remember that we all have weaknesses. Extend the grace you would like to receive from others.

6. Turn to Jesus when others disappoint you.

We grow in showing grace when we learn to turn to Jesus amid life’s most disappointing relational interactions.

Has someone you loved let you down or deeply disappointed you?

Remember that all people are flawed. Hurting people hurt other people. And here’s the clincher: We are all hurting people.

Only Jesus will never let you down.

He will never leave you.

Turn to him for comfort and consolation when others hurt and disappoint you. He is a friend who always wants to listen to you. He is never too busy or too tired to hear from you. Let him be your greatest source of comfort.

7. Live with nothing to prove.

Last, show grace by living with nothing to prove.

When we stop trying to prove our worth through our achievements, we are free to love wholly.

Ask God to show you if you have been finding your value through performance. What would it look like to be free to love others without needing validation or love in return? In what ways would your life be different if you didn’t have to be witty, intellectual, funny, or beautiful at all times?

Learn to stand on your unchanging identity as God’s beloved child, and he will set you free to live with nothing to prove.

A Free Chapter of My Book to Help You With Showing Grace to Others

I have a gift for you today. For a limited time, I invite you to download and read a chapter of my powerful book, Lean Into Grace, right here. This chapter will help change the way you see the work God has placed in front of you and inspire you to show grace as you seek him in this work. Download this chapter for free with promo code GRACE right here. I pray it blesses you!

Attention, all moms and daughters!

Lastly, in addition to writing to adults, I am also passionate about ministering to the next generation.

My (now) 12-year-old daughter Bekah and I wrote a mother-daughter devotional book together. We hope to help moms and daughters connect and grow in faith together. Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith includes 60 devotions with Scripture, commentaries from both of us, conversation starters, and even a shared journaling section.

Our vision is for girls ages 7-17 to enjoy it with their moms, grandmas, or older women they look up to. However, mothers and daughters of all ages are using this book to grow closer together! This book makes a wonderful gift for a mother or daughter you care about!

You can buy your paperback or eBook on Amazon right here.