The Lie You Might Believe if You’re in the Refining Fire
The yellowing leaves on the fringes of the property line remind me of an October years ago when the bottom fell out. The first full month of autumn felt like a journey into a refining fire that went on without end.
First, the puppy died suddenly.
Then, there was a serious health scare, followed by the loss of another precious pet dog that had been a part of the family for four years. We all stared at each other and wondered how in the world God saw fit to take them both in two short months.
When we prayed it wouldn’t get worse, it did.
We faced life-long diagnoses, thousands of dollars of unexpected medical and home-repair expenses, and on and on it went.
When You Face the Refining Fire
During that difficult time, a friend asked a question that cut to my heart: “In the midst of all of these losses, has it ever felt like God has left you?”
She was speaking from her own pain, and we met on some sort of bridge over our shared struggles.
I knew where she was coming from. So many times in the past, things went all wrong, and I wrestled with the feeling that God had abandoned me.
Maybe you’ve been here, too.
Perhaps it feels like God let you down and abandoned you to navigate on your own.
Meanwhile, Scripture offers a different explanation. In Scripture, we often see that trouble is an indication of God’s presence, not his absence.
What we overlook in these moments of struggle is the reality that in Scripture, we often see that trouble is an indication of God’s presence, not his absence. Share on X
Here are a few examples:
1. John the Baptist spent his whole life calling God’s people to prepare for the coming of the Messiah.
His life came to an abrupt end when he was beheaded after being imprisoned for his boldness. It was preaching Christ that ushered him into the struggle that took his life.
2. The Apostle Paul spent the latter part of his ministry imprisoned for teaching others about Jesus.
We don’t know how much persecution he endured as a devout Jew, but I’d be willing to speculate that his boldness for Christ brought more trouble than his boldness for Jewish law. The presence of Christ in his life marked struggle.
3. Mary, the mother of Jesus, was engaged to a loving man and preparing to share her life with him when the presence of Jesus turned her world upside down.
She was suddenly unmarried and expecting a child. The presence of Christ in her life marked a difficult season of trusting God as she carried the Messiah within her very own body.
The list could go on and on.
When Your Life Feels Like One Refining Fire After Another
I didn’t preach a sermon to the friend who asked if I ever felt like God had left me.
Instead, I told her that I spent much of my younger years wondering if God had left me.
My life felt like one refining fire after another. I wondered if God had abandoned me when that dream didn’t work out, that relationship fell apart, and that friendship went awry.
Sadly, I believed the lie that God had abandoned me. I decided that if he wasn’t going to stick to his promise about staying with me forever, then I was going to live however I wanted. If God didn’t hold up his end of the deal, I wasn’t holding up mine.
My friend listened with questioning eyes, and she asked how that worked out.
“Not well. Not well at all. Those were the most painful years of my life,” I replied.
Your Refining Fires in Life Are an Indication of This . . .
Nevertheless, during that painful season, I began to grasp a Truth that would change my life forever.
I learned that trials aren’t indications that God has abandoned me; more often, trials are indications that God’s presence is very near.
It’s worth examining our hearts and our lives when trials and troubles come.
We are wise to ask hard questions about whether we’re living in intentional areas of disobedience to God. At times, trials are God’s way of gently disciplining us and leading us back into his love.
However, once we’ve examined our hearts and been honest about our sins, it’s important to remember that trials often come because we live in a broken world with a real enemy.
There are times when troubles come simply because there is an adversary out to stop us.
Looking back on our autumn of troubles, I now realize that our trials weren’t a sign that God had abandoned our family. Instead, they were a sign that he was about to open a new door of breakthrough and influence.
He was about to open new doors in my writing career, and the troubles were merely stumbling blocks leading me to give up.
I’m thankful to say that I didn’t give up, and we made it through the difficult season.
Encouragement for Your Hard Seasons
Dear friend, when the refining fire settles upon your life, guard your heart against the lie that God has abandoned you. God promises that he will never abandon his children (see Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5, Matthew 28:20).
He is with you in this fire, and he will never leave your side. Turn to him. He will carry you when you are too weak to keep walking.
Calling All Parents and Grandparents!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 7, 12, and 16, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or older relatives to read with the children and teens they love. I also recently released a teen devotional called Anchored, designed to help teens learn key biblical narratives and apply them to their lives. You can find these books here or read more below. 
Mother-Daughter Devotionals by a Mom and Daughter
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
Devotions for Boys by Boys
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength helps young boys, ages 5-13, learn what it means to trust God and become strong warriors for his kingdom. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to boldly carry God’s love into the world. I wrote this boys’ devotional book with our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven! You’ll enjoy their honesty as we teach boys how to be strong warriors for the Lord. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
These Books Are Free on Kindle Unlimited: God Wants to Heal, Restore, and Refresh You
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. He also wants to help you establish a rhythm of meeting with him daily as you trust him with the hard parts of your life. Click here to explore two books that will guide you: Be Still and Trust and Lean Into Grace. They are free on the Kindle Unlimited program and for sale in print.
Download Your Free Devotional Here
Set Free: Let God Do What You Cannot explores ten realms in which most of us need God to work in our lives and bring deliverance. We’ll talk about finding freedom from fear, worry, insecurity, bad habits, emotional pain, and more. This short online devotional will bless you as you let God accomplish what you’ve been unable to achieve through willpower. Get your download for free with promo code GRACE or for a donation of 3.99 here. Thank you. This small gift helps keep this ministry running.
I also offer a library of free online devotional eBooks for free. I invite you to explore the collection right here!
