Your Pain Has a Purpose, and This Is Part of It . . .
A wide arc of geese honks overhead like a black thread woven through the grey. I watch them from the deck and remember a similar evening several years ago. I sat on this same deck and let these words wash over me: “Your pain has a purpose. Don’t rush through this valley of suffering.”
I was at the end of a long season of suffering, and most of the time, I couldn’t see the purpose of the pain.
It seemed entirely unnecessary.
Maybe you can relate. You want to know your pain has a purpose. Meanwhile, for the most part, it seems unnecessary.
Your pain has a purpose, and this is part of it…
In the middle of my suffering, I remember telling a friend how I was feeling.
With compassion in her eyes, she looked at me and spoke words that went something like this, “Times of suffering are often the seasons when God is doing the most powerful work within us. Your pain has a purpose, and God is using it to mold you into the person he wants you to become. ”
Seasons of great suffering are often the seasons when God is doing the most powerful work within us. Your pain has a purpose, and God is using it to mold you into the person he wants you to become. #pain #suffering Click To TweetI knew she was right, but, honestly, I didn’t want to hear it.
More than anything, I wanted a break from the distress. Soul-shaping was a low priority.
What I didn’t realize was that before God could lift me higher, he had to take me to the lowest place first.
God’s calling often takes you lower before he lifts you higher.
So, here you are.
You’re hurting, and you’re not sure where to turn next.
Let me offer you a gentle word of encouragement. When life is painful, an invitation awaits: You get to choose between hardening your heart and turning away from God or keeping your heart soft and letting this moment be a springboard into the abundant life God has planned for you.
I know it’s not easy to keep a soft heart in your pain.
I know all too well what it looks like to grow offended. I’ve told God if he’s not holding up his end of the deal, I’m not holding up mine. I’ve walked away from him for long, hard seasons. (Read more about this here.)
But here’s the thing: We don’t like pain, so when trouble comes, some of us angrily blame God and decide to turn away from him.
It seems like a good idea at the time.
It never is.
God’s boundaries and instructions are for our protection and well-being, not to steal our joy. In the same way, before God can raise us up and into the high callings he has for us, he almost always has to take us lower first.
He refines us in life’s valleys. He separates the grain from the chaff in the valleys.
This is the secret no one tells you in your lowest, most painful moment: Without the low moments, you won’t have the strength or stamina to go where God is calling you to go.
However, we don’t have to lose heart. Let’s look at three things God does when we are hurting.
1. When you are in pain, God is right beside you.
You might feel like God has abandoned you. Maybe you sit in the darkness with your broken heart, and the sinking feeling in your chest tells you no one really cares.
An insidious voice tells you that God doesn’t care; if God cared, you wouldn’t be hurting like this.
I’ve heeded the voice that tells me God has forsaken me a few times.
I’ve also learned that the voice is a liar. God has promised never to leave you or forsake you (see Deuteronomy 31:6), and he has promised that he is close to the brokenhearted (see Psalm 34:18). God has not left you. He is close. He is with you.
Even if you can’t feel his presence, cling to this truth. Cling to it because he has written it to you as a promise for the times when your emotions betray you. God’s Word is unchanging in a world where our emotions falter. Cling to these words today.
2. As a mother sings over her child, God sings over you.
Last week, my little boy was awake in the night with bad dreams. I went to his room as starlight trickled through the windowpane. Rocking him, I hummed his favorite song until his eyelids grew heavy and sleep returned.
I delighted in the moment. Getting out of bed to hold him and sing over him wasn’t an inconvenience; it was a gift.
Zephaniah 3:17 paints a portrait of God singing over his people and quieting them with his love. This was a promise to the Jewish people under the Old Covenant, and it is a promise for every believer today.
As a mother comforts her child, God waits for you to lean into his everlasting arms in a posture of surrender. He longs to quiet you with his love as he sings over you.
3. God bends low to defend you in your pain.
Lastly, God bends down to defend you in your pain.
In the eighth chapter of John’s gospel, we find a woman who was about to be stoned to death for committing adultery. She was caught in a sinful moment, and the religious people were eager to seek justice. She was half-naked, lying in the dirt, about to meet her bloody death as judgmental critics bludgeoned her with rocks.
More than any other passage of Scripture, this passage shows me the posture Jesus takes in my most painful moments.
Do you remember what he does?
He bends low with the woman.
He begins writing in the dirt—and in doing so, he steps into her mess with her. Jesus isn’t afraid to get her dirt on his hands. He’s not afraid of your dirt either, friend.
Jesus also defends the woman. He invites any onlookers to cast a stone under one condition: They may only cast a stone if they are without sin.
The crowd leaves. The woman is alone with Jesus. Jesus forgives her of her sins and tells her to go and sin no more.
Regardless of whether your pain is any fault of your own, Jesus is right here with you. He isn’t afraid to bend low and sit in the dirt with you. When the heart-shaping work of this painful moment has molded you to look more like Christ—when the time is right—he will gently lead you to higher ground.
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My prayer for you is that you will keep pressing forward.
This pain doesn’t have to destroy you.
Keep a soft heart.
Run to God when the pain is too much to bear. (For practical insights on what it looks like to run to God, join me here.) Your heavenly Father has not abandoned you. He is fighting on your behalf at this very moment.
A Free Resource for Comfort and Strength:
Today, I invite you to let Jesus hold you as he begins healing your heart in this difficult time. For a limited time, I’m offering a free chapter from my book, Lean Into Grace. The title of this chapter is “Crying in the Bathroom,” and it will help you experience God’s tender comfort when life is hard. Download this chapter right here today with promo code GRACE. God is waiting to hold you in his arms and heal your heart. 
Help Your Daughter Navigate a Painful Time:
Additionally, my 12-year-old daughter, Bekah, and I wrote a mother-daughter devotional book to help mothers and daughters grow closer together while connecting with God. Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith includes 60 devotions with Scripture, commentaries from both of us, conversation starters, and even a shared journaling section. Multitudes of mothers, daughters, mentors, and younger women are being transformed by this book! You can buy your paperback or eBook on Amazon right here.
