How to Make a Child Feel Loved: 25 Ways
Author Toni Morrison once asked the question, “When your child walks in the room, does your face light up?” I was not yet a parent when I first considered this question, but it stuck with me. And perhaps, when it comes to learning how to make a child feel loved, this is the greatest truth of all: Let your face speak what’s in your heart.
How to Make a Child Feel Loved: 25 Ways
What do our kids see when our eyes meet?
I think of these words in the early hours of dawn, when fuzzy heads stumble from their rooms and greet me.
I consider these words when I’m tired at the end of a long day, when I just wanted to finish the dishes before the little one scooted the chair to the sink, and when I had hopes of staining the whole deck before the school bus rolled up.
How to Make a Child Feel Loved
I’ve been considering all the ways to encourage the little people in my life, and I’ve been working on a list of practical ways to build them up. This week’s post is for anyone who has an influence on the lives of children, and I hope it offers fresh insight.
Here are 25 practical ways to make your child feel loved:
1. Listen with full focus.
Take your eyes off of your phone or your work for the few seconds needed to give your undivided attention. Attending to your child might feel like an interruption, but remind yourself that these interruptions are your most important work.
2. Write encouraging notes.
Before large life events (first days of school, big games or performances, or the kinds of pursuits that make your child feel nervous or insecure), write encouraging notes and leave them where they will be found.
Life is hard, and the world can be critical. Let’s be the safe places where our children find confidence. (Click here for 10 one-liners to develop your child’s identity.)
3. Affirm effort over fixed attributes.
Instead of saying, “Great job on this test; you are so smart,” or “You are an amazingly gifted athlete,” say, “You worked so hard to earn this grade,” or “All of your work in practice paid off in the game today.”
This teaches our children that progress is always possible when the effort is present.
4. Remind them that hurting people hurt other people.
When your kids are hurt by the words or actions of others, remind them that this kind of treatment often has very little to do with the person who gets hurt by the mean behavior.
Other children might make fun of your kids.
Adults might speak unkind words.
Remind your child that when another person is hurtful, it is an indication of the pain inside of the other person, and it usually has very little to do with your child.
Remind your child that when another person is hurtful, it is an indication of the pain inside of the other person, and it usually has very little to do with your child. #parenting #hurtpeople #Christianparenting Share on X5. Encourage your child by showing up at their events.
Make the time to go to the game, the concert, or the parents’ night.
You might not feel motivated, and your child might act like it doesn’t really matter, but deep inside, it matters. Showing up at their events shows you are invested. It shows you care.
How to Make a Child Feel Loved:
Let’s look at 20 additional ways to love the children in our lives . . .
6. Remind them that their mistakes don’t define them.
7. Model humility, and be the first to apologize.
8. Don’t hold grudges (against them, against your spouse, or against anyone).
9. Tell them why you love them. Be specific. Do this daily.
10. Set aside time just for them.
11. Take them to places they really love, and savor your moments together.
12. Cook special meals you know they’ll love.
13. Make their beds one day a week.
14. List all the things you love about them, and then share the list with them.
15. Write notes on napkins.
16. Laugh at their jokes.
17. Stop what you’re doing to closely examine their artwork, homework, and other projects.
18. Review the enormous stack of schoolwork with them.
19. Tell them you believe in them.
20. Tell them you’ll be there for them.
21. Go on adventures together.
22. Set a standard of not yelling in your home and apologize when you break your own rule.
23. Ask for their opinions.
24. Help them when they’re stuck.
25. Speak words that bring life. Always.
A Devotional Book to Help You Encourage Your Daughter
Do you want to open the lines of communication with your daughter, connect on deeper levels, laugh together, and grow in your faith together? Maybe you don’t have a daughter, but you would love to connect with a granddaughter, niece, or younger woman in your life.
If any of this resonates with you, I have a tool to help you.
My 12-year-old daughter Bekah and I wrote a mother-daughter devotional book together. It is designed to help moms and daughters connect and grow in faith together. It’s called Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith.
It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, commentaries from both of us, conversation starters, and even a journaling section. You can buy your paperback or eBook on Amazon right here. This book also makes a powerful gift for the mothers and daughters you care about! We encourage you to check it out!
