3 Keys to Effective Prayer: Radically Change Your Prayer Life
Most of us face times when our prayers seem to go unanswered. During these times, we wonder if why God doesn’t seem to hear our prayers. Today, we’ll unpack 3 keys to effective prayer.
These simple insights can radically transform your prayer life forever.
I also invite you to read to the end of today’s post for a free devotional eBook to improve your prayer life.
I begin today’s post with an illustration that radically changed the way I pray. After this illustration, we’ll explore the keys to effective prayer.
3 Keys to Effective Prayer
Layers of ivory piled heavenward for weeks—the kind of snow that melts and freezes a half-dozen times. I’d been pleading with God to lead me out of a difficult emotional season. I had no idea he was about to open my eyes with a very clear object lesson in the form of a pleading child.
We kept the yellow snow shovel propped right next to the front door that year. Every morning, we scraped the icy cement and threw out the salt.
I didn’t appreciate the morning call to shovel the entryway. However, the four-year-old at my side saw it as the very best kind of fun. Despite my best attempts to convince him to stay inside, he shuffled into his snow boots, threw on his winter coat, and bumped into my legs as he aimed to stay in step with my shoveling.
His petitions began about a week into the journey through the blizzards, “Mom, can we go to the store and buy me a snow shovel?”
Day after day he asked for his own plastic snow shovel. Day after day I assured him we’d find him the perfect plastic snow shovel.
As the days became weeks, his asking started to feel a little more like nagging. I reminded him that I would find him a snow shovel. However, I wasn’t running out to the store to find one immediately because learning to wait builds virtue.
Praying or Pleading?
We were a little over a week into the plight of the snow shovel when it dawned on me:
Like a child who asks his parent for the same thing again and again, all too often, I bring the same request to God again and again, speaking to him as if I’d never asked at all.
I want to pray effective prayers. Sadly, I position myself as a beggar instead of positioning myself as the child of the King.
I beg for healing for months on end.
I make the same requests for loved ones year after year.
. . . all as if I were asking for the very first time.
We’re told to bring our petitions to God day after day, to keep knocking, seeking, and asking.
Meanwhile, what if the way we knock, seek, and ask matters more than we realize?
We’re told to bring our petitions to God day after day, to keep knocking, seeking, and asking, but what if the way we knock, seek, and ask matters more than we realize? #unansweredprayers #prayer #askingGod Share on XThis leads to the first of our 3 keys to effective prayer.
3 Keys to Effective Prayer
1. Rather than pleading as if you’d never asked God, thank him for hearing you.
As Caleb kept begging for his shovel, I found myself daily reminding him that I heard his request, and a plan was in the works to head to the discount toy store and find the perfect shovel.
I also offered a piece of advice, “Buddy, instead of begging me for the shovel every day, why don’t you thank me that it’s coming?”
What if we were to adopt the same mindset when we’re waiting to see our prayers answered in full?
Instead of making the same requests again and again in a desperate plea, what if we shifted our tone and began thanking God for hearing us and appropriating the answer to our prayers?
Pleading with God Might Look Like This Instead:
Begging for healing would sound more like this:
“Thank you, God, for hearing my prayer for healing. I’m so excited to watch and see how this healing comes to fruition.”
Pleading for provision would sound more like this:
“Thank you for hearing my prayer for provision, Father. Thank you for the promise not to withhold good from those who walk blamelessly before you. I’m expectantly and excitedly watching to see how you bring this provision to pass.”
Pleading for a breakthrough would sound like this:
“Thank you that although I haven’t seen it happen, this breakthrough is coming. I’m excited to watch for it to happen in your perfect timing.”
Replace Pleading With Gratitude
There are many reasons why we sometimes find ourselves waiting to see answers to our prayers; however, while we wait, we honor God by thanking him for what he is doing while we wait. We thank him that everything he does is for our good and his glory.
Like little Caleb, our hearts shift when we stop pleading as beggars and instead give thanks for what is coming. And while the wait is often longer than we would choose, while there are some circumstances in which we’re called to wait until we reach the gates of heaven, the promise for provision still stands.
We don’t pray with gratitude because it’s some kind of secret formula that will nudge God to act more quickly. Instead, we pray with gratitude because something in our own hearts shifts when offering prayers with the joy of gratefulness.
This leads to our second of today’s 3 keys to effective prayer.
2. Pray in alignment with God’s will.
That blustery winter, I’d been harboring some heavy requests of my own: requests about healing and provision and breakthrough that felt like crushing blows with each day of waiting.
I also began directly praying, “Lord, please align my heart with your heart.”
As I did, I saw God’s hand in our circumstances. I grew in trust. I was also able to discern my role in some difficult situations.
As God aligned my heart with his, my perspective changed. My prayers also changed. I was able to thank God for the trials we were facing because I saw his purpose in using them to conform us to the image of Jesus.
3. Persistence in prayer.
Lastly, God reminded me that persistence in prayer is a key to effective prayer.
By continuing to talk to him about the issues that were on my heart, I stayed engaged with him.
And when winter eased into spring with its intermittent flurries and daffodils poking through leaf-strewn earth, I had not yet seen one of those prayer requests come to fullness.
But my heart had shifted from a posture of fear to a posture of joy. Restlessness was replaced with peace. Anxiety was pushed aside by hope. And sometimes this is the greatest gift of all: Joy, peace, and hope in the waiting.
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If these 3 keys to effective prayer blessed you, I invite you to explore our devotional books and library of free devotionals below. Be blessed as you seek the King!
Calling All Parents and Grandparents!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 6, 11, and 15, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or older relatives to read with the children and teens they love. You can find all three books here or read more below.
Attention All Boy Moms (and Dads)!
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength helps young boys, ages 5-13, learn what it means to trust God and become strong warriors for his kingdom. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to boldly carry God’s love into the world. I wrote this boys’ devotional book with our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven! You’ll enjoy their honesty as we teach boys how to be strong warriors for the Lord. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
Mother-Daughter Devotionals by a Mom and Daughter
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
Find Our Family Devotionals Here
Find all three books right here. They are also free on the Kindle Unlimited plan, which you can enjoy with a free three-month trial! These books make great gifts, and you don’t need to be the parent of young children to read them. Share them with your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or the young ones you love.
Learn Why Willpower Doesn’t Work and Experience God’s Deliverance and Healing
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. Lean Into Grace: Let God’s Grace Heal Your Heart, Refresh Your Soul, and Set You Free shares practical ways to experience God’s freedom, healing, power, and presence in your life. Find this life-changing book as a free eBook on Kindle Unlimited or for 12.99 in print right here. (If you do not have Kindle Unlimited, you can try it out with a free three-month trial!) This book will transform your life and revitalize your relationship with the Lord!
A Free Devotional to Help You Connect With God
God is a good Father, and he wants us to experience his healing, deliverance, and replenishment. Most of us have learned that we cannot heal, deliver, or refresh ourselves; we need God to do this work within us. I invite you to create space for God to transform your life by downloading a free copy of my devotional eBook, The Lean Into Grace Devotional: An 8-Day Devotional for Healing, Deliverance, and Replenishment. Find it for free here. I also offer a library of free online devotional eBooks for free. I invite you to explore the collection right here! 
A Free Devotional to Help You Pray:
Do you want to be more deliberate in the way you interact with the people God has put in your life? Do you want to carry Christ to the world around you and be more passionate as you pray for others? If so, my free gift to you today is my online devotional Change Your World through Prayer. This resource offers helpful prayer tools, prayer guides, and inspiration to help you develop a deeper and more consistent prayer life. Click here, and I will send this free resource to your email inbox. 
