When You Feel Broken: 4 Ways to Find Hope
When you feel broken inside, it’s not easy to find hope to hold onto. I’ve lived through some broken seasons, and today we’ll talk about where to turn in these difficult times.
I invite you to join me on a day when I felt deeply broken, and we’ll learn to unburden our brokenness together.
When You Feel Broken
It’s a grey March afternoon, and I drive down the Interstate feeling numb. I’m on my way to a doctor’s appointment that will offer glimpses into our family’s future. Our unborn child has a heart defect. Today, a pediatric cardiologist will determine how serious the defect is and offer a prognosis.
I’m terrified.
A Psalm comes to mind, and I whisper the words, but they get stuck somewhere between my head and my heart. All I really want is to feel this truth like it’s real, like it’s for me.
Instead, I feel very little.
I feel as though I’ve been swept into the drone of the engine and the sound of semi-trucks swooshing past in the mist.
Turning off the music in the car, I decide to sit with Jesus in silence of my uncertainty.
Leaning Into Jesus When You Feel Broken
Sometimes this is enough: to simply sit with Jesus in all your emptiness and sadness.
To let him be like the friend who shows up after the funeral and doesn’t offer a single cliché statement to make herself feel less uncomfortable with your pain. To let togetherness be enough for the moment.
I sit for a while in the silence, and then a thought comes to me like a cloud floating across cerulean skies:
“This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast . . .” Hebrews 6:19
It’s a verse I memorized many months ago, before God began forming this little one within me, before I knew how desperately I would need his hope.
How do we hold onto hope when we feel broken?
As I navigated that difficult day, I reminded myself of the four following truths about finding hope in brokenness.
How to Have Hope on the Darkest Days
1. Cling to the One whose heart breaks every time your heart breaks.
Often, difficult times prompt us to ask, “Where is God in the midst of this mess?”
We want to know why he hasn’t swooped in to save the day. The familiar words of John’s gospel offer an answer.
Jesus’ dear friend Lazarus has died. Jesus arrives on the scene, and Lazarus’ sister Martha runs to him with a grief-stricken heart. She says, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:32).
I can relate.
I have uttered the same words over my losses: “Lord, if you had been here, this dream would have come to pass. If you had been here, we wouldn’t be weeping over a gravesite. If you had been here, we wouldn’t be sitting in this sterile hospital room watching pigeons flutter carelessly out the window.”
It’s easy to blame God or take offense when life goes off the rails. Some of us wonder if God has abandoned us.
But what if we have it all wrong?
John 11:35 offers the most compelling answer to our question of what Jesus is doing in our deepest pain: “Jesus wept.”
Our loving Father isn’t standing in the distance measuring our faith or lack thereof. He has promised to be with us always.
Friend, he is closer than you think. And he is weeping with you.
He weeps when our hearts are broken and our lives are shattered. He promises to use our pain to make us more like him. Meanwhile, he weeps as we walk through the darkest valleys.
I reminded myself that Jesus was near and that his heart ached as I worried about our unborn child.
2. When you feel broken, trust that God will make all things new.
In the beginning, God created the whole world, and it was good. Sin ushered in the brokenness that led to tragedy, loss, death, despair, and pain. We were not created to endure the kind of suffering that this world offers. We were created for pure and unhindered communion with God forever.
God will one day make all of this right. Until then, when unimaginable losses destroy our realities, we can extend grace to our broken hearts. We were never meant to endure this kind of pain. Our minds don’t know what to do with it.
The Lord has promised healing of all things and restoration. Until then, we turn to him and ask for guidance to find healing for our broken hearts. One day, God will right every wrong you have endured.
3. God wants you to bring your painful emotions to him so that he can unburden your heart.
I like to pull myself up by my bootstraps and rush through painful emotions. I’d rather ignore my feelings than feel them.
However, if we want the healing light of God’s love to heal our broken hearts, we need to work through our emotions.
First, we ask God to help us name our emotions. We name bitterness, anger, sadness, despair, or shame.
Then, we ask God to help us study our emotions with curiosity and compassion. What is causing the emotion? What does God want to show us? This process can take a long time as we dig deeper and ask God to reveal the truth.
Last, we bring our emotions to God and ask him to unburden them. When God unburdens a heavy emotion, it loses its power over us. We might still need to deal with grief, fear, or hopelessness, but we have a sense that God is helping us.
4. When you feel broken, remind yourself that Christ alone heals hearts.
For years, I believed time was the secret to healing my broken heart. I believed the bad breakups, unhealthy relationships, and cycles of habitual sin would be healed with time.
This is where I had it all wrong.
Time is not the great healer.
Jesus is the great Healer.
He offers healing when he invites us to come as we are and meet him at the cross. At the cross, he paid the price for our sins. Jesus took the punishment we all deserve. God poured his wrath on Jesus instead of pouring it on us.
When we come to the cross and receive his gift of rescue, asking for forgiveness and declaring faith in him, he freely embraces us just as we are.
Jesus heals us again and again. He offers healing when our worlds fall apart. He promises to be our portion and our hope, even in the darkest valleys. Our Savior reaches down from on high and pulls us out of the deep waters of despair. And in our most broken moments, he holds us and shares our tears.
~~~
When the appointment with the cardiologist is over, I make the long trip home. Instead of clear answers, it seems our lot for this season of life is to simply keep waiting and watching. There is, indeed, a defect in our child’s heart. However, the doctor offers hope that it might heal as our little one continues developing over the next 13 weeks.
To my surprise, this uncertain news doesn’t feel like a heavy burden. It feels more like waiting to see how the goodness of the Lord shows up in our situation. I’m lifted away from the worries and the fears, and from the quiet place, I hear this broken heart singing soft words of praise. (To read the full story and learn what happened with our unborn child, check out my book, Lean Into Grace, below.)
A Free Online Devotional Book Filled With Bible Promises:
I have a gift for you. God wants to continue to speak into your heart as you navigate this valley. He is waiting to heal your heart, lift your head, and pull you from your lowest moment. Rays of Light for the Dark Days is your daily guide. This free online devotional will inspire, comfort, and uplift you. Click here and I’ll send it to your email inbox—no strings attached.
These Two Books are Free on Kindle Unlimited as eBooks and Also Available in Print:
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. Lean Into Grace: Let God’s Grace Heal Your Heart, Refresh Your Soul, and Set You Free shares practical ways to experience God’s freedom, healing, power, and presence in your life. Find this life-changing book in eBook form for free on the Kindle Unlimited Plan or for 12.99 in print right here. (You can sign up for a free three-month Kindle Unlimited trial if you are not a member.) This book will transform your life and revitalize your relationship with the Lord!
Calling All Moms and Daughters!
Additionally, my 12-year-old daughter, Bekah, and I wrote a mother-daughter devotional book to help mothers and daughters grow closer together while connecting with God. Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith includes 60 devotions with Scripture, commentaries from both of us, conversation starters, and even a shared journaling section. Multitudes of mothers, daughters, mentors, and younger women are being transformed by this book! You can find this book in eBook form for free on the Kindle Unlimited Plan or buy a print copy for 11.99 right here.
