To the Overwhelmed Mother Who Wants Deeper Joy
I want to be the kind of woman who knows how to cultivate deep joy. But mostly, I feel like the overwhelmed mother who yells too much and spends way too much time in survival mode.
Encouragement for the Overwhelmed Mother
I invite you to join our family in the woods, and we’ll talk about finding joy in motherhood.
The jewelweed is shriveling beneath the heavy blanket of summer heat as I lead my three little ones through the forest.
We needed some fresh air and time outside the house. So here we are. The youngest has fallen at least ten times. The oldest two are eager to return home to screens of some sort. Mostly, I’m trying not to yell at anyone.
I hope to watch the whole crew splash in the creek while I sit on the sandy shore and do absolutely nothing for as long as everyone will cooperate with my plan.
We make it to the creek as the sun ascends high above the sycamores. Sadly, my hopes for a peaceful afternoon are quickly dashed. An argument breaks out over who gets to use the net, the oldest complains about being bored, and the little one skins his knee approximately three seconds after arriving at the creek.
Fantastic.
Gentle Encouragement for Every Overwhelmed Mother
I’m about to declare a return to the house and let everyone zone out on screens when I’m reminded of a journey I’ve been on throughout the past year. It’s a journey to be a woman who is less gritty and more graceful – to be a woman who laughs deeply and plays with her kids and chases the joy she craves. (You can read about my journey here.)
I imagine every overwhelmed mother longs for deeper joy and greater peace.
I imagine every overwhelmed mother longs for deeper joy and greater peace. #overwhelmedmother #tiredmom #peace #joy Share on XWe want to offer the perfect balance of structure and fun, whimsy and focus, compassion and firmness. We want to love our children well, love our lives well, and create space to cultivate our passions.
These thoughts flash through my mind as I make a split-second decision that will change the course of our entire day. Instead of barking commands, making threats, or dragging everyone back home, I do the unexpected. I slip out of my shoes and socks and begin walking into the creek.
Changing the Narrative
“Mom, what are you doing?” the oldest asks.
“Swimming,” I say with a smile.
“You’re going to swim in the creek with us?” the six-year-old questions.
“I sure am,” I tell them.
Within seconds, I am in the water with all three children. I walk until the water reaches my chest, little Aiden splashing and squealing in my arms. Once we are soaked and cooled, we return to the shallows and sit on the smooth stones.
The older two dunk their heads, catch crayfish, and wade across the gentle current to the island on the far end of the swimming hole. We stay longer than planned. No one complains or grows weary. We are happy, playful, and fully present with one another.
Cling to These Truths, Overwhelmed Mom:
Later in the day, I look back on our afternoon. I notice several mindsets that set the tone for our time at the creek. These mindsets invite us into the fullest kinds of lives, wherever we happen to be:
1. Don’t Take Yourself too Seriously
It’s easy for me to get caught up in my agenda, my plans, and controlling everything and everyone around me. Every time I set aside these tendencies, beautiful moments unfold. I stop taking myself so seriously, and we all end up laughing, playing, and making the best kinds of memories.
2. Embrace Spontaneity
Some of my best memories as a mother were born from times when our family embraced spontaneity. I took off my shoes to swim in a creek. We made an unexpected stop for ice cream. We went out of our way to get a treat at the grocery store. Or I took a break in the day’s work to drive tractors through the sandbox. Some of life’s best surprises happen when we pause long enough to step into spontaneous possibilities.
3. Be in One Place at a Time
I struggle to be fully present in my moments. My mind is often elsewhere: planning meals, preschool lessons, and family outings. As a result, I miss out on enjoying actual meals, preschool lessons, and family outings as they unfold in real-time.
When we make up our minds to be fully present in our moments, we deepen the quality of our experiences. We learn to eat slowly and pay attention to the flavors and textures of our food. We engage with our kids and notice the freckles on their noses and the moments that make them laugh. This kind of focus slows our rhythms and enables us to deeply enjoy what is happening around us.
We return to the creek the following day as well. We stay longer than planned, get dirtier than planned, and have more fun than we ever imagined. It all feels something like a life lived to the fullest.
A Free Devotional for Every Overwhelmed Mother:
Would you like less stress and deeper peace in life? I have a gift for you: My free online day devotional Unrushed: Slow Your Pace and Embrace the Fully-Present Life. This is a powerful journey into a life that is more present – more fully lived. Click here, and I’ll send this free online devotional to your email inbox!
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