Why Dying to Self Is the Gateway to the Fullest Kind of Life
A vase of salmon-colored zinnias rests on the dining room table the day my friend speaks the words. She tells me motherhood will be an adventure in dying to self. I’m eight months pregnant with our first child, and my friend’s words aren’t at all encouraging. I’ve been sick for eight months.
I feel like I’ve died a thousand times throughout this pregnancy. Imagining life getting worse before it gets better is nearly enough to send me over the edge. I smile politely and pray my friend is wrong.
Ten years later . . .
That conversation took place more than ten years ago. As I reflect on the past decade, I realize my friend was right. Dying to self is a non-negotiable part of the territory when it comes to parenting little ones.
Most days, parenthood doesn’t feel particularly noble.
You don’t feel like you’re climbing higher up any sort of ladder.
Most of the time, from your vantage point on hands and knees with little ones, it feels like going lower. You spend years in the dark place of obscurity, and the work is hard and humble.
But hard and humble work isn’t reserved for parents.
No matter where you spend your long days, we’ll all be called to lay down our desires. To go lower. To humble ourselves. We’ll be called to die to our desires more times than we can count. And those of us who keep our hearts soft through the grueling grind of obscurity will emerge from our trials with the most surprising realization:
Dying to self is the secret to the most abundant kind of life.
I used to imagine my future life of fullness and abundance. I imagined kids who never got sick or talked back to me.
Setting aside passions like backpacking and travel didn’t cross my mind.
I envisioned days spent lying in the sunshine along lazy rivers and never considered realities like separation anxiety, strep throat, and why the little one won’t sleep through the night.
Maybe you had a vision for your future as well. You thought you’d chase down that dream until you grabbed it by the tail and made it your reality. You thought you’d marry that cute guy from the coffee shop, buy the big brick house at the end of the cul-de-sac, easily pop out a few kids, buy a golden retriever, and live happily ever after, amen.
However, as you live out your actual life, it’s way more difficult than you hoped.
You feel like you endlessly complete the same dozen tasks in a cycle that never ends, and no one seems very grateful.
You miss the days when you felt like you were making a big impact for God. Your life feels quiet and hidden – smaller than you imagined.
You’ve grown tired from hustling from one place to the other. Tending to the constant needs of those who are in your care. Swishing toilets. Washing dishes. Driving to the same job where your coworkers do annoying things for the sheer pleasure of getting under your skin.
You Aren’t Alone in Your Humble Places
You aren’t alone.
And here is the best news: There is hope.
These quiet and humble acts of service are shaping you.
Keep going. God is using these hidden acts of service to transform you.
These quiet and humble acts of service are shaping you. Keep going. God is using these hidden acts of service to transform you. #transformation #humility Click To TweetKeep changing the diapers. Ring up another customer’s purchase on the glitching cash register. Grade another stack of papers. Write another report. Don’t stop folding the tiny washcloths. Fix another crisis.
Meanwhile, keep watching for what God is doing around you. He is using your humble work to make you more like him.
God doesn’t usually choose the mountaintops of life to do the deepest work in your heart. He shapes you in the lowest places.
He makes you look more like Jesus when you humbly serve others.
Your quiet and unseen service is making you look more like Christ.
The more we look like Jesus, the more we start to tap into his joy, peace, and even his power. We become content where we are because we start to see the exciting reality that Jesus is with us and in us.
What Happens When We Embrace Invitations for Dying to Self
Here is the best news: You step into the fullest kind of life when you learn to die to self.
Joy deepens.
Peace prevails.
God’s power works in and through you in the humble places.
Embrace humble places, and you will learn to pay less attention to outcomes and more attention to the moments along the journey. You’ll pay less attention to the applause of the onlookers and more attention to the still small voice directing you. You’ll worry less about what the world thinks, and you’ll start to live out of your true identity.
So you want to live a more abundant life?
The invitation is yours: Don’t resist the opportunities to die to yourself. In the dying, something new is rising up.
A Free Devotional for When Dying to Self Is Hard:
Would you like to connect with God in ways that breathe fresh life into your weary soul? I have a gift for you today. The Weary Woman’s 20-Day Devotional is my free online devotional to help you connect with God in your worn and weary seasons. You will find 20 daily readings to help you find refreshment in God’s presence. Click here and I’ll send it to your email inbox today!
Attention, all moms and daughters!
Lastly, in addition to writing to adults, I am also passionate about ministering to the next generation.
My 12-year-old daughter Bekah and I wrote a mother-daughter devotional book together. We hope to help moms and daughters connect and grow in faith together. Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith includes 60 devotions with Scripture, commentaries from both of us, conversation starters, and even a shared journaling section.
Our vision is for girls ages 7-17 to enjoy it with their moms, grandmas, or older women they look up to. However, mothers and daughters of all ages are using this book to grow closer together! This book makes a wonderful gift for a mother or daughter you care about!
You can buy your paperback or eBook on Amazon right here. 
