How to Be Gentle With Yourself
Do you need to learn how to be gentle with yourself? If so, you are in the right place. Today, we’ll have an honest conversation about what it looks like to treat ourselves with kindness and gentleness.
I’ve spent most of my life being unreasonably hard on myself.
I stand in front of mirrors, roll my eyes, and commit to more rigorous ab workouts.
I regularly push myself beyond exhaustion and feel guilty for taking naps—even after staying up all night tending to fevered children. Often, I tell myself to suck it up, try harder, go faster, and give more.
You might not push yourself through exhaustion or condemningly grab your love handles when you stand in front of the mirror, but I imagine you know all about self-critical attitudes. Most of us would never talk to our friends the way we talk to ourselves.
How to Be Gentle With Yourself
Not long ago, God showed me that the critical spirit with which I judge myself has a significant impact on the way I love others.
Whether I like it or not, being self-critical will eventually lead me to be critical of others.
Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, but if we’re critical of ourselves, we will eventually project a critical spirit onto others as well.
Throughout the past few years, God’s been teaching me how to be gentle with myself.
Instead of being critical, I’m learning to be thankful for this belly that bore three beautiful children, these legs that have carried me thousands of miles, the lines on my face that show my age, and this body that regularly endures sleepless nights.
I’m also learning to embrace the unique parts of my personality. Instead of being critical of my introversion, sportiness, and woodsyness, I’m learning to nurture these parts of me and even share them with others.
God is inviting you to be gentle with yourself as well. He wants you to embrace your uniqueness and be gentle with your weaknesses. As you learn to be more loving toward yourself, you will naturally become more loving toward others.
Practical Ways to Be Gentle With Yourself
Here are three practical ways to practice being gentle to yourself. Be sure to read to the end of today’s post for a free devotional eBook to help you extend grace to yourself and others.
1. Thank your body for serving you.
When you get dressed today, look in the mirror and ask God to help you see yourself the way he sees you. Pay particular attention to the body parts you don’t like.
Instead of criticizing these parts, thank them. You might thank your laugh lines for sharing life’s joyful moments with you, thank your thighs for their strength, or thank your core for providing stability.
God loves you—just the way you are. Ask him to help you learn to be gentle with yourself as you aim to extend this same gentleness to others.
God loves you—just the way you are. Ask him to help you learn to be gentle with yourself as you aim to extend this same gentleness to others. #LovingGod #Gentleness #Kindness Share on X2. Regularly “check in” with yourself.
At least once a week, carve out ten to fifteen minutes to assess the state of your soul. Find a quiet place to sit, take a walk, or even assess your life as you lie in the comfort of your bed.
How is your soul? Are you tired? Excited? Bored? Stressed?
Talk to God about anything you notice. He wants to show you how to step into the abundant life, but most of us are too busy to pause and be real about where we’re at. Regular check-ins can help care for our bodies and souls.
3. Be gentle with yourself by changing the way you look at yourself.
Throughout the past few years, God has been renewing my mind by helping me see myself the way I see my precious children.
I’ve been learning to treat myself the way I would treat my kids. I imagine their sweet faces and precious bodies. When critical thoughts about myself arise, I remind myself to be tender with myself in the same ways I’m tender with my kids. I forgive myself for mistakes and aim to care for my body in the same ways I care for their little bodies.
This mindset helps me resist some of the following behaviors: It keeps me from shoving sugar into my mouth to fill an emotional void; I’m far less critical when I look in the mirror; I go to the doctor instead of putting it off; I’m willing to invest in vitamins and healthy food for the good of my body; I exercise for the well-being of my body and not primarily to burn calories or chase a cultural image.
Try this mindset for yourself. Imagine your most precious loved one when it comes time to care for your body or when critical thoughts arise. God can use this mindset to transform your life. Most of all, he will align your heart with his heart. You are even more precious to him than your most precious loved one is to you.
Have You Learned How to Be Gentle With Yourself?
Which aspects of your appearance regularly lead you to self-critical thoughts?
Have you ever considered that your critical thoughts might leak onto the people you love?
Ask God to reveal any aspects of your internal makeup that make you feel insecure or self-critical. How might he want to use these distinctive characteristics, interests, or traits to help other people?
Calling All Parents and Grandparents!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 6, 11, and 15, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or older relatives to read with the children and teens they love. You can find all three books here or read more below.
A Devotional for Boys
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength helps young boys, ages 5-13, learn what it means to trust God and become strong warriors for his kingdom. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to boldly carry God’s love into the world. I wrote this boys’ devotional book with our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven! You’ll enjoy their honesty as we teach boys how to be strong warriors for the Lord. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
Mother-Daughter Devotionals by a Mom and Daughter
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
Find Our Family Devotionals Here
Find all three books right here. They are also free on the Kindle Unlimited plan, which you can enjoy with a free three-month trial! These books make great gifts, and you don’t need to be the parent of young children to read them. Share them with your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or the young ones you love.
Learn Why Willpower Doesn’t Work and Experience God’s Deliverance and Healing
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. Lean Into Grace: Let God’s Grace Heal Your Heart, Refresh Your Soul, and Set You Free shares practical ways to experience God’s freedom, healing, power, and presence in your life. Find this life-changing book as a free eBook on Kindle Unlimited or for 12.99 in print right here. (If you do not have Kindle Unlimited, you can try it out with a free three-month trial!) This book will transform your life and revitalize your relationship with the Lord!
A Free Devotional to Help You Connect With God
God is a good Father, and he wants us to experience his healing, deliverance, and replenishment. Most of us have learned that we cannot heal, deliver, or refresh ourselves; we need God to do this work within us. I invite you to create space for God to transform your life by downloading a free copy of my devotional eBook, The Lean Into Grace Devotional: An 8-Day Devotional for Healing, Deliverance, and Replenishment. Find it for free here. 
