Why Has God Abandoned Me?
Have you ever asked the question, “Why has God abandoned me?”
When life is difficult, it often feels as though God has forgotten and forsaken us. Today, I invite you to join me as I share an excerpt from our new book, Heart to Heart, and we’ll talk about what to do when we feel forgotten by God.
Why has God abandoned me?
Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or in dread of them, for the Lord your God is the One who is going with you. He will not desert you or abandon you.
Deuteronomy 31:6
I spent much of my early twenties wondering if God had abandoned me. After a series of disappointments and heartaches—including shattered athletic dreams, a tough breakup, and a long list of mistakes—it seemed God had turned his back on me.
In my pain, I decided that if God wasn’t going to hold true to his promise to stay with me forever, I was going to ignore his boundaries and live according to my desires. I said to myself, If God isn’t going to stand by his promise to never leave me, I’m done living for him and am going to live by my own standards.
This mindset led to some of the most painful years of my life. After several years, I realized I’d made a mess of my life. I humbly returned to God, committed to living according to his standards, and began pursuing him with my whole heart.
In the years that followed, I learned that God is always faithful to keep his promises. He allowed me to face unpleasant consequences as a result of my behavior, but he never walked away from me.
God Will Never Walk Away From His Children
Since that time, I have also learned that trials are not signs that God has forsaken me. More often, challenges are indications that God’s presence is very near.
It’s wise to examine our hearts and lives when troubles come. We should ask ourselves hard questions about whether we’re living in intentional areas of disobedience to God. Difficult times are not always God’s form of discipline, but God does use discomfort to get our attention and gently correct us.
Once we’ve examined our hearts and been honest about our sins, we can remember that trials often come because we live in a fallen world, and Satan is always working to destroy lives.
Additionally, difficult times are often the vessels God uses to help us become more mature. In the same way that fire refines silver, life’s struggles refine us. God’s purpose is that we will emerge from these fires with greater character and maturity—looking more like Christ.
As I reflect on the difficulties I’ve faced over the past few years, I realize that these trials weren’t indications that God had abandoned me. Rather, they were signs that he was helping me grow. God was using the tough times to mold my heart into the image of his Son.
Today, I encourage you to guard your heart against the lie that God has abandoned you in tough times. God promises that he will never abandon his children (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5, Matthew 28:20). God is with you, and he can use every difficult situation for your good and his glory.
(The following reflection questions are from our book, where we offer space for teens and moms to respond to several questions about feeling abandoned by God.)
Teen’s Reflection
Describe a time in the past when God used a difficult situation to help you grow and become more mature. If nothing comes to mind, ask God to reveal a memory of such a time. Are you facing any troubling situations right now? What is God showing you about his purpose for your current trials?
Mom’s Reflection
After responding to your daughter, write about a time when God used challenging circumstances to help you become more mature and complete—more Christlike.
If you enjoyed this devotion, check out the entire book as well as our other books right here.
Bible Verses to Stand on When You’ve Been Wondering, “Why Has God Abandoned Me?”
Let’s look at what God’s Word has to say about God’s presence with us. The following words are not from our book, but we pray they will help you understand God’s love for you in a deeper way.
We’ll begin with the story of the woman caught in adultery in the eighth chapter of John’s Gospel. She’s been dragged into the middle of a vast circle of religious people who are about to stone her to death as the penalty for her sins.
Just as they’re about to start throwing stones, Jesus arrives on the scene.
He bends down and begins writing in the dirt. The Bible doesn’t tell us what he wrote. I wonder if that’s because his intention was deeper than words. Maybe he wanted to show us he’s not afraid to stoop low into our dirtiest messes and get our dirt on his hands.
What happens next touches my heart almost as deeply as Jesus’ willingness to step into the messy middle of the woman’s lowest moment.
Jesus invites the onlookers to go ahead and throw their stones, but only if they are without sins.
One at a time, the crowd disperses.
Let’s not miss this: Jesus doesn’t condemn the woman. Instead, he defends her.
Friend, even if it feels like God has abandoned you, he has not left your side. We’ll get back to the story of the forsaken woman at the end of this post. First, let’s look at what the Lord does when we feel abandoned.
3 Promises for When You Wonder, “Why Has God Abandoned Me?”
1. God will never leave you.
We find this promise throughout Scripture.
Cling to this promise in Deuteronomy 31:8: “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (NIV).
Don’t buy the lie that God has turned away from you. He promises never to leave his children. (Join me right here to read about the lie many of us believe in our suffering.)
2. God will never stop loving you.
Additionally, nothing can take God’s love away from you.
You can’t mess up enough to lose God’s love.
Turn away from God, and he will still love you. In fact, he will pursue you. He will chase you down because he loves you relentlessly. He will watch for you to return to him like a father watching for his wayward child to return home.
And when he sees you coming, he won’t start with a lecture. He will throw off his coat and run to you. He’ll wrap his arms around you and say, “Welcome home!”
Nothing can separate you from God’s love: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39 NASB).
3. God will defend you.
Let’s return to the story of the woman who was about to be stoned to death.
This woman reminds me of myself in my lowest, darkest moments.
Have you ever wondered what Jesus is doing while you are stuck in the sins you can’t seem to overcome?
This passage of Scripture offers ample evidence of his character: He isn’t rolling his eyes or folding his arms in condemnation. Instead, he is bending low to sit in your dirty mess. He is defending you. And he is waiting to pick you up and set you free.
Jesus ultimately forgives the woman and tells her to go and sin no more. He offers the same invitation to each of us.
If you are wondering if God has abandoned you, rest in this truth: He is pursuing you. The minute you decide to seek him with your whole heart, you will discover a Father who sets aside propriety and runs to you with open arms.
The minute you decide to seek him with your whole heart, you will discover a Father who sets aside propriety and runs to you with open arms. #GodsLove Share on XA Free Devotional for When You Ask, “Has God Abandoned Me?”
I have a gift for you today. Hope for Hard Days is a free 10-day online devotional to help you hold onto hope when life is tough. You will find 10 readings to help you connect with God and claim his peace. Click here and I’ll send it to your email inbox today for free with promo code HOPE.
Calling all moms and daughters—and parents of boys!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 6, 11, and 14, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or grandparents to read with the children they care about.
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength is for boys ages 5-13. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to courageously carry God’s love into the world. Written with input from our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven, this book will help the boys you care about find courage and strength in God. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
Devotionals for Girls
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
All three books are available in print and eBook form here on Amazon. They are also free on the Kindle Unlimited plan, which you can enjoy with a free three-month trial! These books make great gifts, and you don’t need to be the parent of young children to read them. Share them with your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or the young ones you love.
Learn Why Willpower Doesn’t Work and Experience God’s Deliverance and Healing
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. Lean Into Grace: Let God’s Grace Heal Your Heart, Refresh Your Soul, and Set You Free shares practical ways to experience God’s freedom, healing, power, and presence in your life. Find this life-changing book as a free eBook on Kindle Unlimited or for 12.99 in print right here. (If you do not have Kindle Unlimited, you can try it out with a free three-month trial!) This book will transform your life and revitalize your relationship with the Lord!
