6 Miscarriage Prayers for a Friend or Loved One
Several years ago, our family walked through one of the most difficult losses we’d ever faced. We lost a baby through a miscarriage. Today, I want to encourage you as you support a loved one or navigate your own loss. The following miscarriage prayers for a friend (or for yourself) can help you find healing in the arms of our heavenly Father.
6 Miscarriage Prayers for a Friend or Loved One
Parts of this post are taken from my book, Lean Into Grace, where I share the full story of my miscarriage. I’ll invite you to read the entire chapter for free at the end of this post. First, let’s press close to the Lord with these prayers.
6 Miscarriage Prayers for a Friend (or for Yourself)
Here are six prayers for miscarriages as we grieve with God.
1. Ask God to help you keep a soft heart.
When life is difficult, it can be tempting to blame God or take offense. Ask God to help you keep a soft heart as you walk through the stages of grief. A soft heart is essential for healing.
Here is a prayer: “Lord, I’m tempted to question you and even turn away from you in frustration and grief. Please help me to keep a soft heart toward you. I know that healing is found in you alone. Please bring me comfort during this time.”
2. Ask God to help you put your hope in Jesus instead of putting your hope in “fixing” this.
It can be tempting to put our hope in fixing the pain. In this case, fixing the situation might look like planning another pregnancy as soon as possible. Instead of putting your hope in another pregnancy, ask God to help you put your hope in Jesus’ presence with you.
This doesn’t mean you cannot hold onto hope for another pregnancy. It simply means that you ask Jesus to be your primary source of hope.
Here is a prayer: “God, you see my desire to hurry through this loss and put my hope in fixing this with another pregnancy. Instead of putting my hope in circumstantial changes, please help me to put my hope in the fact that you are with me. You are my Living Hope. I claim this promise and cling to you today.”
3. Ask God to help you fix your eyes on him amid this grief.
Here is a prayer: “God, please help me to turn to you as I grieve. At times, I want to turn away from you in my pain. Open my heart so that I might worship you as I endure this loss.”
I invite you to join me in the living room the morning after we lost our baby:
As morning dawns, I descend the stairs, sink into the soft cushions of the couch, and put a worship playlist on the computer. I’m staring at the wall and feeling numb when the words of a song draw my attention to the screen. The words worshipfully speak of God’s goodness, and it seems they were written just for me with my torn-in-two heart.
Immediately, I know I have a choice: I can turn off the computer and brew coffee, or I can worship God in the middle of my pain.
Worship even when you don’t feel Jesus’ presence.
I don’t feel the presence of Jesus with me. I feel empty and alone. Part of me feels the urge to turn away from God, pretend this isn’t happening, and try to embrace a “normal” day.
Meanwhile, a deeper part of me knows that doing the hard work of grieving in God’s presence is the secret to healing, and I make the difficult choice to stay on the couch. I lift both arms in worship, close my eyes, and begin to softly sing along with the words of the song. Lifting my arms in the living room feels a bit awkward, but I do it as a sign of my surrender.
I have not cried over our loss yet, but I weep as I worshipfully declare God’s goodness amid my heartbreaking loss. It is the purest moment of worship I have ever experienced.
As I sob, I sense the tender love of the One I worship. I know he is moved by my worship. I know this is the pivotal moment in which I have not hardened my heart or taken offense in my pain.
Worship Heals
Friend, this is the place where healing begins. If you can sit with Jesus in the middle of your sadness and lift your heart in worship, he will begin a deep work of healing within you. It might not feel like God is good. Praise him anyway. Praise him because his goodness is not contingent upon our feelings.
When we worship God in our pain, we give him open access to begin healing our hearts. Grieving in the presence of God offers consolation we will find nowhere else. Yielded praise awakens a broken soul to the very real presence of the One who will never abandon us. As we awaken to his presence, his presence begins the work of healing our hearts.
Worship is Warfare
Do you know what else happens when we worship with broken hearts? The enemy is defeated with his own weapon. Satan would like nothing more than for you to harden your heart and turn away from Jesus when you feel wounded by life.
Trust me.
I’ve lived this out.
Tragedy and heartbreak are the enemy’s weapons, and he means to destroy you with them.
He will succeed if his weapons lead you to turn away from God. However, when the enemy’s attacks lead you to run to Jesus and worship him with your broken heart, the enemy loses. Christ is exalted, and in the process of exalting him, we are strengthened.
4. Pour your heart out to God: He can take it!
Here is a prayer: “Father, I don’t understand why this is happening. Nevertheless, I turn to you. I know that your ways are higher and better than my ways. Please help me to trust you with what I cannot understand.”
In addition to worshiping God, it’s important to create space to release our emotions in his presence. For me, this often happens during worship.
As I worshiped God the morning after the miscarriage, I also poured my heart out to him. I told him everything I was feeling and asked hard questions. I held nothing back and wasn’t afraid to approach him with my overwhelming emotions.
Our emotions often feel consuming during times of loss. It’s not uncommon to feel sad, angry, regretful, hopeless, and fearful at the same time. Lamentation is an expression of mourning that helps us release our emotions. It might include sobbing, yelling, wailing, and even physical expressions like punching a pillow. We tell God everything we are feeling and let it all out.
Releasing our emotions in the Lord’s presence through lamentation is a healthy way to avoid burying our anger, sadness, or other difficult emotions. Buried emotions easily lead to bitterness and offense toward the Lord. When this happens, Satan gains a foothold in our hearts, and our healing is hindered.
Lamentation helps us keep soft hearts. Instead of burying our negative emotions, we release them, and this release prevents bitter roots from growing within our hearts.
Pour your heart out to God.
Tell him everything.
He already knows. Releasing it will begin the work of healing your heart.
5. Ask God to help you stand on his Word.
Here is a prayer: “Lord, my feelings are overwhelming right now. Please lead me to a comforting Bible verse that can carry me through this dark time.”
Staying engaged with God’s Word helps us move toward healing, recognize the difference between our feelings and God’s truth, identify the fiery darts of the enemy, and find an anchor to steady us in life’s storms.
As our family mourned the loss of our little one, the Lord led me to stand on the promise found in Hebrews 6:19, which reminds us that God’s hope is a reliable and ever-present anchor for our souls.
These words reminded me that my hope is found in Jesus’ presence with me—even in the middle of tragedy. Every time I felt tempted to put my hope in getting to the other side of our grief or getting pregnant again, I returned to the anchor of my soul: the hope of Jesus’ ever-present love.
If you are hurting and don’t know where to turn in your Bible, reading one Psalm per day is a good place to begin. The Psalms are filled with emotional outcries from hurting hearts and are a great place to turn when our hearts are broken.
For seven Bible verses to offer comfort during a miscarriage, join me right here.
6. Ask God to lead you to others who can love and support you.
Pray, “Lord God, please lead me to some people who can love and support me through this. I feel alone and misunderstood at times. Please bring comforters into my life and help me resist the temptation to isolate myself.”
Most of us feel tempted to isolate ourselves in times of grief and loss. However, Jesus designed us to live in community with others. We need friends and loved ones to help carry our burdens, provide safe spaces for us, and pray for us. We need counselors, pastors, mentors, friends, and seasoned believers to speak into our pain.
I felt tempted to isolate myself after our loss. I didn’t feel like explaining our difficult situation or answering questions about the sorrow written on my face. Nonetheless, I knew I needed loved ones to help carry me through my grief. When my husband asked how I was doing, I told the truth. I let him hold me on the couch as we worked through our emotions together.
When my mom called me on the phone, I answered. Every evening, I took a walk down our country road and talked to her on the phone. Sometimes, we talked about how I was doing. Most of the time, we talked about other things, and simply being present with her was deeply healing for me.
Final Thoughts as You Ponder These Miscarriage Prayers for a Friend
Dear friend, my heart aches for you. I also want you to know that you are not alone.
I invite you to return to these prayers as often as necessary as you endure this loss. Give yourself time to grieve. A miscarriage is a deep loss, and it will take months or even years for you to fully walk through this grief. Meanwhile, keep returning to the Lord. He is your source of comfort and strength.
I also invite you to continue on the journey into God’s grace with me by reading the rest of my story about walking through my miscarriage. God has healed my heart, and he wants to heal you, too. Download this chapter of my book for free right here.
