Be the Real You: 5 Reasons to Be Authentic
Do you ever feel like you won’t fit in if you decide to be the real you?
Last summer, I drove eight hours to attend a conference with a large group of talented female writers.
I walked into the hotel where I would be staying on a scorching July evening, and every woman in the foyer looked poised, gorgeous, and entirely put-together. I looked like I’d just run five miles and then hopped in the car and driven for eight straight hours.
Suddenly, I noticed the distance between the woman I sensed I ought to be and the woman I actually am. (Click here to read about this moment.)
Most of us have felt this way.
We walk into crowded rooms, and we wonder where we fit in or if we fit in at all.
When it came time for the conference to begin, I dressed up and made sure I fit in. No one would have known I was the sweaty woman sneaking up the stairwell an hour earlier.
How to Be the Real You
Late in the afternoon on the first day of the conference, I noticed that the women around me looked as tired as I felt. I saw it in their eyes, and I decided to take a risk.
When it was my turn to share my vision and my goals, I did talk about my writing and my vision. I also laughed and told those precious ladies I was tired.
A wave of relief swept over the beautiful faces as the other women talked about their exhaustion, as well. I told them about my writing failures as well as my triumphs. I offered those ladies the gift of sincerity.
In response, the other women opened up about their fears and hopes as well. We realized that none of us felt qualified to be there. Most of us assumed everyone was at least one step ahead of us. We were all just kind of hanging on, caught in the delicate space between the women we actually are and the women we think we should be.
Why do we do this?
Why do we ever think God calls us to show up and be anyone other than the women we actually are?
We walk into job interviews and social gatherings with shaking knees and sweating palms. We wonder if we measure up or belong.
Meanwhile, we were woven together by the Master Creator to fulfill the purposes he designated in advance for us. We won’t fulfill those purposes if we don’t learn how to be our authentic selves.
I walked away with many lessons that weekend. Among the most lasting was this: Be the real you, and you offer the world your greatest gift. #AuthenticSelf #therealyou #bethegift Share on X
5 Reasons to Be the Real You
I carry these lessons with me as we delve into the next venture this summer.
When you learn to be the real you, you free others to be real as well.
Here are five reasons to show up and be authentic:
1. People don’t want to see your perfection; they want to see your authenticity.
Broken people want to spend time with other broken people. And let’s be real: We’re all broken.
Showing up with a facade of perfection might make you feel better about yourself. But it will also push people away.
We invite others to live honestly when we first live honestly ourselves.
2. Vulnerability is a gift.
How do you feel when you can tell someone is being totally real with you? Do you feel honored? Trusted?
Be vulnerable with the people in your life, and you offer a gift. You create a space where others feel safe to be vulnerable as well.
Be your authentic self, and you invite others to do the same.
3. Be the real you, and you open a doorway to true connection.
Do you want authentic relationships with others?
Let them see the real you.
Share your struggles, pain, and disappointment. We are called to carry one another’s burdens, but we can’t carry burdens we’re afraid to share.
4. Hiding your authentic self is exhausting.
Trying to be anyone other than the person God created you to be will wear you out faster than your fancy shoes wear blisters on your heels.
Do you want the energy to love well and invest in other people?
Don’t use your precious energy to try to fit in. Instead, use your energy to invest in others.
Don’t look for someone to make you feel loved and accepted when you walk into a crowded room. Instead, look for someone you can love.
5. Real strength isn’t wearing a mask; it’s showing up without your makeup.
I’ll never forget the day a friend showed up at our local moms’ group with no makeup and a loose T-shirt that probably belonged to her husband. This woman always wore cute clothes. I’d never seen her without smoky eyes and perfect hair.
Something about her willingness to arrive as she was gave us all a new sense of freedom.
She told us about her horrendous morning and silently invited every woman in the room to let her guard down.
We reached new depths of connection because one woman was brave enough to show up as her authentic self.
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Do you want to make an impact on the world? Offer the world the gift of your authentic self. You will touch hearts and change lives by creating space for others to be real as well.
A Free Devotional to Help You Be the Real You:
I have a gift for you today. Check out my free online devotional Rays of Light for the Dark Days. You will find inspiration to help you embrace whatever God has placed before you. It is yours right here.
Calling all moms and daughters—and parents of boys!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 6, 11, and 14, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or grandparents to read with the children they care about.
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength is for boys ages 5-13. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to courageously carry God’s love into the world. Written with input from our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven, this book will help the boys you care about find courage and strength in God. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
Devotionals for Girls
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
All three books are available in print and eBook form here on Amazon. They are also free on the Kindle Unlimited plan, which you can enjoy with a free three-month trial! These books make great gifts, and you don’t need to be the parent of young children to read them. Share them with your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or the young ones you love.
Learn Why Willpower Doesn’t Work and Experience God’s Deliverance and Healing
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. Lean Into Grace: Let God’s Grace Heal Your Heart, Refresh Your Soul, and Set You Free shares practical ways to experience God’s freedom, healing, power, and presence in your life. Find this life-changing book as a free eBook on Kindle Unlimited or for 12.99 in print right here. (If you do not have Kindle Unlimited, you can try it out with a free three-month trial!) This book will transform your life and revitalize your relationship with the Lord!
