15 Scriptures on Controlling Anger: With Tips
Not long ago, I decided I was done yelling at my kids. Ten minutes after I made my commitment, someone dumped a whole box of Lucky Charms on the kitchen floor in an attempt to pick out the marshmallows. If you can relate—if you want to learn how to stop yelling at your kids and feel like you’re failing— you’re in the right place. We’ll explore 15 Scriptures on controlling anger.
Then, we’ll apply these truths to our lives in practical ways.
I also invite you to read to the end of today’s post for a free devotional eBook to help you surrender to God in angry moments.
Scriptures on Controlling Anger
Let’s begin in God’s Word as we look at some self-explanatory Scriptures on controlling anger.
15 Scriptures on Controlling Anger
1. James 1:19-20 ESV
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
2. Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
3. Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
4. Proverbs 14:29
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
5. Ephesians 4:26-27
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.
6. Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
7. Luke 17:3-4
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
8. Galatians 5:16
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
9. Proverbs 20:22
Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.
10. Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
More Scriptures on Controlling Anger
11. Galatians 5:19-21
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
12. Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
13. Romans 12:17
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
14. Proverbs 16:32
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
15. James 1:26
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.
Practical Applications of These Scriptures on Controlling Anger
Most of us want to live with love and gentleness, but it’s so much easier said than done.
The other day, my daughter offered me a powerful example of what to do when I feel like yelling.
Her words are changing me and challenging me. I’m sharing this story with you today with the hope that it might help you make the same shift that is helping me.
A Simple Mindset-Shift
I’m pounding out words on the computer when sweet Bekah bounces off the school bus. She careens through the door and makes a bee-line straight for the bathroom.
“Oh, sweet boy,” she giggles from the bathroom in the hallway.
I wonder what toy or note she found from her little brother in the bathroom.
Five minutes later, she prances into the living room, and I ask what led to the remark.
“Caleb left his potty seat on the toilet and the stool pushed right up to the toilet. He closed the big toilet seat like that’s how the bathroom’s supposed to look,” she explains.
That’s it? I wonder. She saw the mess her little brother left and responded with joy?
I sit in silence and consider the lesson I might learn from my child. How would my life be different if I loosened up? I’m quick to snap in anger when life doesn’t go my way. I tend to grumble over the messes my family leaves for me.
How would my life be different if I didn’t get worked up over the driver who cuts me off in traffic, long lines at the grocery store, and messes from my kids?
I imagine I’d step into a life with less grit and more grace. The life I crave.
A Shift for Greater Peace
If you’d like to learn how to stop reacting in anger but don’t know where to begin, I encourage you to begin by asking God to change your heart.
When I feel anger rising within me, I try to stop, step back, and ask God to help me respond with gentleness instead of anger.
As a part of this shift, the following practices are helping me extend more grace to others. At the heart of the matter, if we truly want to learn to control anger, the change must begin in our hearts. Our words will follow. The following practices are changing my heart.
1. Shift from annoyance to appreciation.
When someone in your life leaves a mess for you to clean up, respond with, “Oh, sweet_____(insert name).” Give thanks for their presence in your life instead of grumbling over the additional work they sometimes create. Learn to let it go and smile instead of grumbling.
For example, when I notice that my daughter has left a mess after an afternoon of crafting at the kitchen table, I pause to give thanks for her creativity before asking her to clean up. Most of the time, simply pausing to appreciate her helps me not to snap at her about the mess.
I know this is easy to say and much more challenging to live out.
Ask God to help you and soften your heart. He is waiting to help you.
When someone in your life leaves a mess for you to clean up, respond with, “Oh, sweet_____(insert name).” Give thanks for their presence in your life instead of grumbling over the additional work they sometimes create. Share on X2. Give others permission to have bad days.
When a stranger snubs you or takes advantage of you, consider that she might be walking through the most difficult season of her life. I remind myself of this with my kids and family members, too.
We all have bad days. I’ve learned to give my loved ones (and strangers) permission to have bad days. This doesn’t mean that I let them walk all over me or that I never set boundaries. However, I try to extend grace. I have bad days, too.
Recognizing that my child might be having a difficult day helps me think before reacting.
3. Don’t keep a record of wrongs.
I encourage you to resist the urge to make mental lists of what your kids or family members are doing wrong. Don’t mentally calculate the number of hours you spend taking care of your home and compare the list to other family members.
Resist the urge to feel sorry for yourself or grumble.
The work God sets before you is his holy calling for your life.
You might do more than your “fair share” of the work at your home. There is a time and place for reaching out and asking for help. However, keeping track of offenses will cause bitterness to grow in your heart.
4. Remember the One you are serving.
When I feel frustrated with my children, I remember Jesus’ words: “Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me” (Matthew 25:40). It took several years of motherhood for me to realize that my children are “the least of these.”
When we care for our kids with patience and kindness, Jesus counts it as if we are directly caring for him.
When I feel tempted to yell at my kids, I imagine I am Jesus’ mother, Mary. I’m not sure whether Mary ever lost her temper with young Jesus; however, I know that I am much less likely to yell at my kids when I think of them as if I were caring for Jesus.
5. Recognize that you never know what’s happening in someone else’s heart and life . . . and be kind.
A few months ago, a friend told me about a story she recently read in a book. A man was irritated as he made his way home on the subway. The tired father sitting across from him was unable to control his unruly children, and the kids were bouncing off the walls.
Just as the man was about to say something to the father who was exerting no control over his children, the father looked him in the eye and thanked him for his grace.
The family was on their way home from their mother’s funeral.
The forlorn father had no emotional energy to contain his children. The sweet little ones were coping with their difficult day and life-changing loss.
We often don’t know what’s going on in the lives of those who offend us or annoy us. What if, instead of being angry, we extended grace?
If these Scriptures on controlling anger blessed you, I invite you to explore our family devotionals and library of free devotional eBooks below. Be blessed as you draw near to the King!
Calling All Parents and Grandparents!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 6, 11, and 15, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or older relatives to read with the children and teens they love. You can find all three books here or read more below.
Attention All Boy Moms (and Dads)!
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength helps young boys, ages 5-13, learn what it means to trust God and become strong warriors for his kingdom. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to boldly carry God’s love into the world. I wrote this boys’ devotional book with our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven! You’ll enjoy their honesty as we teach boys how to be strong warriors for the Lord. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
Mother-Daughter Devotionals by a Mom and Daughter
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
Find Our Family Devotionals Here
Find all three books right here. They are also free on the Kindle Unlimited plan, which you can enjoy with a free three-month trial! These books make great gifts, and you don’t need to be the parent of young children to read them. Share them with your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or the young ones you love.
Learn Why Willpower Doesn’t Work and Experience God’s Deliverance and Healing
If these Scriptures on controlling anger were helpful, I invite you to read more in this powerful book. God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. Lean Into Grace: Let God’s Grace Heal Your Heart, Refresh Your Soul, and Set You Free shares practical ways to experience God’s freedom, healing, power, and presence in your life. Find this life-changing book as a free eBook on Kindle Unlimited or for 12.99 in print right here. (If you do not have Kindle Unlimited, you can try it out with a free three-month trial!) This book will transform your life and revitalize your relationship with the Lord!
A Free Devotional to Help You Connect With God
God is a good Father, and he wants us to experience his healing, deliverance, and replenishment. Most of us have learned that we cannot heal, deliver, or refresh ourselves; we need God to do this work within us. I invite you to create space for God to transform your life by downloading a free copy of my devotional eBook, The Lean Into Grace Devotional: An 8-Day Devotional for Healing, Deliverance, and Replenishment. Find it for free here. I also offer a library of free online devotional eBooks for free. I invite you to explore the collection right here! 
