Seven Secrets for Deeper Joy in Life
It’s an unseasonably warm Thursday afternoon, aspen leaves covering the ground with a golden blanket—kind of like they’ve absorbed every ounce of joy in life and put it on display for the world to see.
I rush through the aisles of the discount grocery store, filling my cart to the brim as other shoppers scurry to get in front of me. I’ve forgotten all about slowing to live the kind of life that breathes, laughs, and loves.
When the last loaf of bread is scanned and placed gently on top of my pile, I push the cart to the counter where toddlers sit and elderly ladies pause to pack their eggs and milk. I’m filling cloth bags to capacity when I hear her bubbly laugh behind me. There’s no mistaking that laugh.
As I glance over my shoulder, I see the normally weary eyes of the cashier dancing with life. The contagious giggles come from a close friend—the most joy-filled woman I’ve ever met—and the little ray of sunshine she brings to the checkout line is quickly lighting up the entire storefront as she exchanges pleasantries with the tired cashier.
We Can Be God’s Rays of Joy and Light
I smile to myself as I bag the groceries. My friend’s joy is contagious, and I wish I were a little more like my merry friend.
After a mood-boosting conversation with this friend at the bagging counter, I spend the drive home contemplating her joyful spirit. While we’re all wired differently, and while it’s more natural for some of us to be bubbly with strangers than it is for others, most of us could use a dose of joy-drenching.
As we’ve transitioned into life as a family of five this fall, I’ve been contemplating joy often. I’ve been learning what it means to live with joy that is unshaken.
Practical Ways to Cultivate Joy
Here are a few of the takeaways from this autumn of chasing joy:
1. You will find more joy in life by living with nothing to prove.
Those who have deep joy in life are people who have nothing to prove. They’re not trying to look better than others. They don’t aim to be more articulate, assertive, knowledgeable, or beautiful than others. They simply embrace who they are and walk with confidence. They’re free to live authentically, and living authentically is essential in cultivating a joyful countenance.
2. Joyful people live with a long-term perspective.
Everyone faces trials and frustrations in daily life. Dinners end up scorched, fender benders ruin entire weeks, children get sick, and careers come to abrupt halts. I have lived this out this fall, as days were derailed by vomiting children, plans were shaken by the demands of life, and inconveniences marked the season.
May we remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint. Many of today’s struggles won’t even be remembered in two years. Keeping this in perspective keeps us on a path toward long-term fulfillment.
3. We cultivate joy in life when we practice contentment.
Nothing steals joy more quickly than wanting what we don’t have. When we want our neighbor’s custom cabinets, our best friend’s wardrobe, or our boss’s salary, we naturally set ourselves up to struggle with joy. Learning to appreciate what I do have is the secret to living with gratitude. Living with gratitude is essential to living with authentic joy.
4. For more joy in life, aim to speak only words of life.
Sometimes it feels good to “vent” about the friend who can’t keep a commitment or the coworker or can’t seem to get her life together. We mask our gossip under terms like “venting,” “stress relief,” or even “prayer requests.”
Lasting joy in life comes when we live lifestyles of speaking words that build others up, even when they’re not around. Speaking words that tear others down ultimately takes away from the joy in our own lives by shifting our focus to the negative.
5. Greater joy in life comes when you lay down grudges.
Holding onto anger, bitterness, and resentment ultimately drains us of energy that would be better used elsewhere. Deep joy in life comes when we refuse to hold onto negative emotions toward others. It comes when we discern when it’s time to confront issues and which issues are better left released – when we can proceed without clinging to ugly situations. Forgiveness is most often more beneficial for the one who forgives than for the one who is forgiven.
Deep joy in life comes when we refuse to hold onto negative emotions toward others. #joy #JoyinJesus #JoyoftheLord Share on X6. Generosity births joy.
Clinging to our time, possessions, and resources results in a posture of white-knuckled control. It’s impossible to live happily and freely with hands tightly clinging to anything at all. Joyful people share their time with the hurting. They share their money with those who need it. They share their resources with those who are struggling and live generously.
7. Joyful people are comfortable with themselves.
A person who is rooted in joy can look in the mirror, notice the imperfections, and smile at the person in the glass. She knows her life is a work in progress, and she embraces the journey. She’s comfortable with her strengths and her weaknesses—inside and out. She can walk into a crowded room and look for someone to love, not seeking someone who will love her. She lives to give and not receive.
Regardless of where you find yourself in the realm of joyfulness today, may you be encouraged. Embrace where you are on the journey, extend grace to yourself, and learn to love the skin you’re in. You’re beautiful, just like this. You’re usable, just like this. Your life is filled with purpose, just like this.
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Calling all mothers and daughters!
Additionally, my 12-year-old daughter, Bekah, and I wrote a mother-daughter devotional book to help mothers and daughters grow closer together while connecting with God. Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith includes 60 devotions with Scripture, commentaries from both of us, conversation starters, and even a shared journaling section. Multitudes of mothers, daughters, mentors, and younger women are being transformed by this book! You can find your free Kindle Unlimited eBook or buy it in print for just 11.99 right here.
Thank you to Emily P. Freeman for the encouragement to look back on the lessons from the season and encounter the heart of the Father in the process. This post is a part of her link-up on lessons from fall.
