A Simple Perspective-Shift for Overcoming Irritability
It might have been the long walk through winter’s dark days that had me grumbling. Or maybe it was the fact that our household hadn’t been healthy for four months, a certain child wouldn’t obey a single imperative from his mother, or the waterline kept freezing. I needed some kind of help with overcoming irritability, and it seemed I was nearing the end of my rope.
I’d been barking orders all day, and by the time evening fell, I couldn’t have been happier when they all marched over to the neighbors’ house, leaving me with silent surroundings for just an hour.
I turned on the evening news and shoveled heaping spoonfuls of some too-sugary cereal into my not-even-hungry mouth, and that’s when I saw it.
Another shooting. More weeping mothers on suburban sidewalks. Helicopters circling. Kids—kids who could have been my own kids—running from the supposed safe sanctuary of their public school building with hands in the air like some scene out of an action movie.
A Perspective-Shift for Overcoming Irritability
Setting my cereal aside, I paused to watch—to let myself feel it instead of changing the channel and numbing myself to the brutality that seems to now be reaching a relative sense of normalcy in the world.
And there in the fading daylight, it all seemed so out of balance:
Why does it take the threat of losing something to make you grateful for it?
Why do we forget to embrace the blessings that become normal throughout the course of our everyday lives?
A mentor once reminded me that when blessings aren’t washed in deep daily gratitude, complacency creeps in. Complacency leads to apathy, which ultimately leads to ingratitude. We stop giving thanks for the large and small miracles around us. Before long, the miracles themselves become triggers for our complaints.
Complacency leads to apathy, which ultimately leads to ingratitude. #Gratitude #GiveThanks #Complacency Click To TweetAs I sat on the couch with the evening news blaring, I saw it clearly: If you want to transform your grumbling into gratitude and overcome irritability, pause and imagine what life would be like if the people in front of you were suddenly taken away.
Ask this question:
What do I still have?
Your child may have no intentions of obeying you today, tomorrow, or ever again, but your child is here.
Maybe your husband is messy or ungrateful or lost in a world of football or video games, but your husband is still here.
Your best friend might talk too much, need too much, or feel her feelings a little more than you feel comfortable with, but she is still here.
You might be in debt, out of energy, out of ideas, or out of patience with that one person who pushed it just a bit too far this time, but what do you still have?
And let’s strip it down. Those who have called on the name of Jesus for salvation still have the One Thing that matters for eternity. Have you called on his name to save you? Do you have him?
Jesus has promised never to leave your side.
He has promised nothing can separate you from his love.
Lean into these truths, let them be the anchor for your soul today.
Gratitude as a Catalyst for Overcoming Irritability:
Later, they come home from playing across the road. The oldest hurries through bathtime. She comes downstairs in fuzzy pajamas from the back of her closet. I was waiting for the coldest winter months to pull them out.
Her hair is in a rat’s nest, and I’m not sure she remembered conditioner. It’s dripping onto the fuzzy pajamas, and I’m sure she’ll have to change. I could say something. Correct her. Snap.
“Do you like my new pajamas?” she asks, hugging herself and rubbing the peach fabric like she’s wrapped herself in a warm embrace.
“Love them,” I say, and I begin slowly and gently combing through the tangles, one grateful stroke at a time.
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