How to Be a Woman of Influence and Inspiration

I remember the way the sun beams slanted through the maples the afternoon I told my mom I was running away from home.  I’m sure I was no older than eight or nine, and Mom calmly looked at me and asked just where I planned to go.  “To Grandma’s house!” I told her.  I imagined myself traipsing down the road toward that little green house that always offered solace, joy, and a safe place to sit in the presence of a godly woman of influence.

Thirty years later, our family mourns as we celebrate Grandma’s life and legacy.  Grandma went to be with the Lord last week, and it’s hard to believe we were gathered around her table just a few short weeks ago for what would be our last Christmas with her.

Grandma was a woman of influence, and she taught me more than she might realize about what it means to serve selflessly, give relentlessly, and live uncompromisingly.

Here are just a few lessons learned from time spent with Grandma:

If you want to be a woman of influence, think more about the needs of others than your own needs.

Grandma was a nurse by profession, and she had the heart of a caregiver.  Throughout my 38 years in her presence, Grandma consistently put the needs of others in front of her own needs.  Whether caring for my grandpa in the later years of his life, tending to the needs of her own mother, or looking after her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, Grandma was quick to reach out and meet a need.

Until a few months ago, there were still meals in my freezer from Grandma, who took time to care for our family’s needs as we welcomed our third child into the world.  Even now, there is ice cream from Grandma in the freezer – because she knew how we all love Double Dunker – and treats from Grandma in the kids’ treat containers.

And maybe this is just what the world needs.

Maybe it’s the secret to the abundant kind of life I’ve been chasing for so long.

If you want a fuller life, think less of yourself and more of others.

If you want a richer existence, stop listing your needs and take note of what might change someone else’s life, brighten their day, or fill their heart.

Buy a half-gallon of ice cream and deliver it to a loved one.

Write a note and put it in the mail.

When you don’t know how to help, send a card and five dollars.

It’s not the large, noticeable acts of service that add up to define the kind of life a person lives; it’s the small, often unnoticed and under-appreciated acts of kindness that make up a person’s life.

If you want to be a woman of influence, show up in the lives of others.

Grandma was present in our lives.  She showed up for long weekend softball tournaments in the hot July sun, volleyball matches that went late into the night, track meets and soccer games on cold, windy days, musicals, plays, and every other kind of event that warrants an audience.

Grandma showed up.

She showed up in birthing suites and hospital rooms.

She showed up at playdates, Halloween parties, and every time she could get a ride to watch her son, “Uncle Mike,” strum his guitar and sing “Crazy” and “Long Black Train” for her.

She was at the head of the charge leading us to Maine to make memories with Aunt Joyce and our cousin Sean.

Grandma showed up at Rachel’s Roadhouse to order her favorite fish sandwiches, but mostly to beam over just how proud she was of her grandson, Derek, who works as a chef in the kitchen.

She spent the last year fighting to stay strong so that she could show up at her granddaughter Hillary’s wedding.

And isn’t this what we all want most?  Someone who is present to our lives.  Who cares about the things that matter to us.  Someone who shows up when we’re celebrating and rubs our backs when life falls apart.  Who offers a safe place to come and sit and talk about life’s disappointments as well as life’s triumphs.

Be kind but uncompromising.

One of my favorite descriptions of Grandma this week came from a man who only knew Grandma for a few years, but he came to know her quite well.  Her pastor pointed out that Grandma was a woman who exuded kindness, but something about her presence also commanded respect.

Grandma is among the most loving and compassionate people I have ever encountered.  At the same time, she is among the most resolute and uncompromising.

Grandma was no push-over.

In this day and age, there is sometimes a stigma that we can’t be both kind and uncompromising – that we can’t cling to our own convictions and still be loving.

Grandma taught me that sometimes the most loving action is holding fast to what I believe and not being afraid to speak about it.  Whether speaking of her faith or yelling at the captain of a fishing boat to turn the boat around so that the people on the other side of the boat could catch some fish, Grandma wasn’t afraid to stand up for her beliefs.

She testified to what the Lord had done in her life, her loyalty to him, and his faithfulness to her.

Love deeply, smile often, and be present.

I never did run away from home that summer day, but countless times throughout the years that followed, I turned to Grandma for support, encouragement, wisdom, and love.

And maybe this is how you become a woman of influence: Love those within your sphere of influence, learn to smile at the bumps in the road, and be present when it matters.

We love you so much, Grandma.  You will be missed, but we look forward to the day when we meet again on streets of gold.

A Free Devotional Book for Becoming a Woman of Influence:

One lesson my grandma taught me was the way of the older, wiser women who live life without hurry.  In her memory, I’m offering my online devotional Unrushed: Slow Your Pace and Embrace the Fully-present Life for free right here today. This is a powerful journey into a life that is more present – more fully lived. Click here, and I’ll send this free resource to your email inbox!

Calling All Women of Influence:

In addition to writing to adults, I am also passionate about ministering to the next generation.

My 12-year-old daughter Bekah (pictured at age three above) and I wrote a mother-daughter devotional book together.  We hope to help moms and daughters connect and grow in faith together.  Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith includes 60 devotions with Scripture, commentaries from both of us, conversation starters, and even a shared journaling section.

Our vision is for girls ages 7-17 to enjoy it with their moms, grandmas, or older women they look up to.  However, mothers and daughters of all ages are using this book to grow closer together!  This book makes a wonderful gift for a mother or daughter you care about!  

You can buy your paperback or eBook on Amazon right here.