6 Comforting Prayers for Miscarriages and Hurting Hearts
If you are reading these words, you are most likely walking through one of life’s darkest valleys. My heart aches as I write these words to you today, precious friend. You might be navigating a miscarriage yourself, or you might be supporting a loved one who is coping with this loss. Today, we’ll explore several comforting prayers for miscarriages.
First, I invite you into my own journey through this heartbreaking loss. From Chapter One of my book, Lean Into Grace, here is the story of one of my darkest days. After I share my story, we will look at these six prayers for miscarriages.
Prayers for Miscarriages and Broken Hearts
Morning light pierces the smudged windowpane like a golden ray of hope. After a string of grey days, the dancing sunbeams encourage my weary heart. Climbing from warm sheets, I feel hopeful—like maybe this long season won’t last forever.
I’m eight weeks pregnant, and the weeks have been passing at a slow crawl. I’m trying not to worry, but this pregnancy has been weird. After debilitating sickness throughout my first two pregnancies, I’ve barely felt nauseated this time. I’m trying not to be nervous about what the lack of sickness might mean. Maybe it’s a gift from God.
After breakfast is served and our daughter heads off to school, I turn on a cartoon for our three-year-old and head into the powder room to freshen up. Alone in the tiny room with the plum-colored walls, I have no way of knowing that my life is about to be turned upside down. In the amethyst glow of the bathroom, I discover what no pregnant woman wants to see. I’m bleeding.
The Moment of Realization
My mind races through every concern from the past weeks: not feeling sick, my sunken abdomen, no cravings for chicken nuggets for breakfast, and waking up with energy instead of nauseated exhaustion. It hits me like a gut punch, and I immediately know I’m miscarrying.
“Oh no,” I whisper as a dozen different emotions flood me in an overwhelming stream of disbelief, disappointment, sadness, and fear.
Sitting with my head in my hands on the closed toilet seat, I feel the urge to look toward heaven and ask the most obvious questions: Why is this happening? Why couldn’t this all work out like we hoped—as we planned?
I imagine you’ve had this moment, too. The circumstance you feared became your reality. The worst-case scenario swooped in and became the crisis on your doorstep, and you put your head in your hands and asked why. Your heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces, and the grief threatened to suffocate you.
I attempt to swim through the deep waters of my scattered emotions and get my bearings as I sit in the bathroom.
My knee-jerk response is to find my phone and text my three closest friends before hurrying to call my mom, my husband, and the doctor. I’m about to leave the room in a state of panic when something stops me. I sense a soft and quiet invitation. It’s an invitation to take a deep breath and draw close to my heavenly Father first in this moment of devastation.
I will call the doctor. But I will press close to Jesus for a few minutes first.
Turning to Jesus in the Middle of the Loss
It seems preposterous, but before I pick up the phone, I slip into the quiet of the basement to connect with the One who holds my days in his hands.
As I sit in the silence, I consider the medical truth regarding my situation: Many women experience bleeding throughout pregnancy and deliver healthy full-term babies. This is possible in my case, but my intuition tells me otherwise. I’ve had a hunch this might happen for weeks.
In the stillness, I let my mind sort through my wide array of emotions. On some level, I am afraid. I’m afraid of what the days ahead will hold. I’m afraid of what my body will have to endure as we walk through the nitty-gritty part of this loss.
I am also heartbroken. I had dreams and hopes for this child. I’d been imagining stroller walks on cool autumn days and rocking our little one beside an open window on warm September nights. My dreams have been dashed.
The Death of Hope
We all face times of pain, sorrow, and brokenness. In these times, we lose more than our dreams. It often feels as if hope has died with our dreams.
When these times come, self-effort often begs us to hurry through the valley of sorrow and escape the pain. Meanwhile, the gentle voice of God’s grace says, Bring your brokenness to Jesus and let him do what you cannot do for yourself—let him shape your heart to look more like his heart in this valley of sorrow.
Relying on Human Strength When Hope Is Lost
As I sit in the quiet of our basement and try to make sense of what is happening, all I can think about is how I might fix this sad situation. The voice of self-effort tells me I can heal our broken hearts by making sure I get pregnant again before the daffodils emerge in the springtime sunlight.
Nobody has to be sad.
I can totally fix this!
I’m just about to find a calendar and begin hashing out my plan when the voice of grace offers a vastly different invitation.
The voice of grace whispers, Don’t put your hope in fixing this situation with another pregnancy. Put your hope in the fact that Jesus is with you right now, in the middle of this tragedy.
It’s not wrong to fix what’s broken in our lives; however, when we put our hope in fixing broken situations, we circumvent healing encounters with Jesus, our Living Hope. Meanwhile, Jesus invites each of us to lean into grace by putting our hope in his presence with us—not in our abilities to restore what feels broken in our lives.
Where Is Your Hope?
Let’s be clear: there is a time to take action. There is a time to get out of bed, come up with a plan, and take steps to move beyond our pain. However, there’s a big difference between putting our hope in our plans and putting our hope in Jesus’ presence with us.
It’s important to note that not everyone responds to crisis situations by immediately shifting into “fix-it” mode. We might respond by analyzing, withdrawing, or ignoring difficult circumstances. Some of us cope by filling ourselves with food, distracting ourselves with entertainment, or fulfilling ourselves through workaholism.
Regardless of how we cope with sadness, every time we turn to sources other than Jesus for hope and healing, we plant our feet on unstable foundations. We leave little room for Jesus to heal our hearts and transform us into his image through our pain.
Walking Through Heartbreak with Jesus: Prayers for Miscarriages
When our hearts are hurting, it’s tempting to sprint through the valley of grief. More than anything, we want the sorrow to pass, and we want to feel “normal” again. We often avoid our difficult emotions because they’re painful, and we want to escape the pain and discomfort.
As we attempt to avoid our pain, the Lord offers a different invitation: Instead of hurrying through our difficult emotions, Jesus wants us to walk through our heartbreak with the ongoing awareness that he is at our side.
Like a good Shepherd leading his sheep through a dark valley, Jesus promises to stay close during our broken seasons. He is Immanuel—God with us—and he will never leave us.
Like a good Shepherd leading his sheep through a dark valley, Jesus promises to stay close during our broken seasons. He is Immanuel—God with us—and he will never leave us. #miscarriage #loss #grief #Jesus Click To Tweet
Six Prayers for Miscarriages
Let’s now look at six prayers for miscarriages as we grieve with God.
1. Ask God to help you keep a soft heart.
Here is a prayer: “Lord, I’m tempted to question you and even turn away from you in frustration and grief. Please help me to keep a soft heart toward you. I know that healing is found in you alone. Please bring me comfort during this time.”
When life is difficult, it can be tempting to blame God or take offense. Ask God to help you keep a soft heart as you walk through the stages of grief. A soft heart is essential for healing.
2. Ask God to help you put your hope in Jesus instead of putting your hope in “fixing” this.
Here is a prayer: “God, you see my desire to hurry through this loss and put my hope in fixing this with another pregnancy. Instead of putting my hope in circumstantial changes, please help me to put my hope in the fact that you are with me. You are my Living Hope. I claim this promise and cling to you today.”
As I shared above, it can be tempting to put our hope in fixing the pain. Instead, ask God to help you put your hope in Jesus’ presence with you.
3. Ask God to help you fix your eyes on him amid this grief.
Here is a prayer: “God, please help me to turn to you as I grieve. At times, I want to turn away from you in my pain. Open my heart so that I might worship you as I endure this loss.”
Return with me to my miscarriage, and I’ll explain how the Lord answered this prayer for me.
After my moment in the quiet of the basement, an afternoon at the hospital confirms the sad news. We lost the baby. My husband comforts me as we process our loss together, and at the end of the long day, I crash into bed feeling entirely emotionally exhausted.
Early the next morning, I descend the stairs, sink into the soft cushions of the couch, and put a worship playlist on the computer. I’m staring at the wall and feeling numb when the words of a song draw my attention to the screen. The words worshipfully speak of God’s goodness, and it seems they were written just for me with my torn-in-two heart.
Immediately, I know I have a choice: I can turn off the computer and brew coffee, or I can worship God in the middle of my pain.
Worship even when you don’t feel Jesus’ presence.
I don’t feel the presence of Jesus with me. I feel empty and alone. Part of me feels the urge to turn away from God, pretend this isn’t happening, and try to embrace a “normal” day.
Meanwhile, a deeper part of me knows that doing the hard work of grieving in God’s presence is the secret to healing, and I make the difficult choice to stay on the couch. I lift both arms in worship, close my eyes, and begin to softly sing along with the words of the song. Lifting my arms in the living room feels a bit awkward, but I do it as a sign of my surrender.
I have not cried over our loss yet, but I weep as I worshipfully declare God’s goodness amid my heartbreaking loss. It is the purest moment of worship I have ever experienced.
As I sob, I sense the tender love of the One I worship. I know he is moved by my worship. I know this is the pivotal moment in which I have not hardened my heart or taken offense in my pain.
Worship Heals
Friend, this is the place where healing begins. If you can sit with Jesus in the middle of your sadness and lift your heart in worship, he will begin a deep work of healing within you. It might not feel like God is good. Praise him anyway. Praise him because his goodness is not contingent upon our feelings.
When we worship God in our pain, we give him open access to begin healing our hearts. Grieving in the presence of God offers consolation we will find nowhere else. Yielded praise awakens a broken soul to the very real presence of the One who will never abandon us. As we awaken to his presence, his presence begins the work of healing our hearts.
Worship is Warfare
Do you know what else happens when we worship with broken hearts? The enemy is defeated with his own weapon. Satan would like nothing more than for you to harden your heart and turn away from Jesus when you feel wounded by life.
Trust me.
I’ve lived this out.
Tragedy and heartbreak are the enemy’s weapons, and he means to destroy you with them.
He will succeed if his weapons lead you to turn away from God. However, when the enemy’s attacks lead you to run to Jesus and worship him with your broken heart, the enemy loses. Christ is exalted, and in the process of exalting him, we are strengthened.
4. Pour your heart out to God: He can take it!
Here is a prayer: “Father, I don’t understand why this is happening. Nevertheless, I turn to you. I know that your ways are higher and better than my ways. Please help me to trust you with what I cannot understand.”
In addition to worshiping God, it’s important to create space to release our emotions in his presence. For me, this often happens during worship.
As I worshiped God the morning after the miscarriage, I also poured my heart out to him. I told him everything I was feeling and asked hard questions. I held nothing back and wasn’t afraid to approach him with my overwhelming emotions.
Our emotions often feel consuming during times of loss. It’s not uncommon to feel sad, angry, regretful, hopeless, and fearful at the same time. Lamentation is an expression of mourning that helps us release our emotions. It might include sobbing, yelling, wailing, and even physical expressions like punching a pillow. We tell God everything we are feeling and let it all out.
Releasing our emotions in the Lord’s presence through lamentation is a healthy way to avoid burying our anger, sadness, or other difficult emotions. Buried emotions easily lead to bitterness and offense toward the Lord. When this happens, Satan gains a foothold in our hearts, and our healing is hindered.
Lamentation helps us keep soft hearts. Instead of burying our negative emotions, we release them, and this release prevents bitter roots from growing within our hearts.
5. Ask God to help you stand on his Word.
Here is a prayer: “Lord, my feelings are overwhelming right now. Please lead me to a comforting Bible verse that can carry me through this dark time.”
Staying engaged with God’s Word helps us move toward healing, recognize the difference between our feelings and God’s truth, identify the fiery darts of the enemy, and find an anchor to steady us in life’s storms.
As our family mourned the loss of our little one, the Lord led me to stand on the promise found in Hebrews 6:19, which reminds us that God’s hope is a reliable and ever-present anchor for our souls.
These words reminded me that my hope is found in Jesus’ presence with me—even in the middle of tragedy. Every time I felt tempted to put my hope in getting to the other side of our grief or getting pregnant again, I returned to the anchor of my soul: the hope of Jesus’ ever-present love.
If you are hurting and don’t know where to turn in your Bible, reading one Psalm per day is a good place to begin. The Psalms are filled with emotional outcries from hurting hearts and are a great place to turn when our hearts are broken.
6. Ask God to lead you to others who can love and support you.
Pray, “Lord God, please lead me to some people who can love and support me through this. I feel alone and misunderstood at times. Please bring comforters into my life and help me resist the temptation to isolate myself.”
Most of us feel tempted to isolate ourselves in times of grief and loss. However, Jesus designed us to live in community with others. We need friends and loved ones to help carry our burdens, provide safe spaces for us, and pray for us. We need counselors, pastors, mentors, friends, and seasoned believers to speak into our pain.
I felt tempted to isolate myself after our loss. I didn’t feel like explaining our difficult situation or answering questions about the sorrow written on my face. Nonetheless, I knew I needed loved ones to help carry me through my grief. When my husband asked how I was doing, I told the truth. I let him hold me on the couch as we worked through our emotions together.
When my mom called me on the phone, I answered. Every evening, I took a walk down our country road and talked to her on the phone. Sometimes, we talked about how I was doing. Most of the time, we talked about other things, and simply being present with her was deeply healing for me.
Final Thoughts as You Pray These Prayers for Miscarriages:
Dear friend, my heart aches for you. I also want you to know that you are not alone.
I invite you to return to these prayers as often as necessary as you endure this loss. Give yourself time to grieve. A miscarriage is a deep loss, and it will take months or even years for you to fully walk through this grief. Meanwhile, keep returning to the Lord. He is your source of comfort and strength.
I also invite you to continue on the journey into God’s grace with me by reading the rest of my book, Lean Into Grace. In it, I share my story of this miscarriage. We will also talk about how to respond when others are uncaring as well as different realms in which we all need more of God’s grace, including overcoming fear, insecurity, rejection, failure, betting sins, and more. It is free on Kindle Unlimited and available for 12.99 in print here. 
