Casting Our Nets

Today isn’t my usual day to post, but I’m excited to share the words of one of my dearest lifelong friends today. I met Courtney McNamara when we were in fourth grade at East Lawrence Elementary School, and we’ve been friends ever since!

Courtney is a gifted artist, a talented published author, and a tender soul with a huge heart. Her friendship is a treasured gift. She’s one of a small handful of friends who receives my 6:00 a.m., “I need prayer” texts. As we all know, these friends are rare gifts! Courtney’s wisdom on the topic of casting our nets challenged me and blessed me, and I trust it will speak to your heart as well. Here’s Courtney:

I lay in bed, hunkered down under the covers, long after the alarm had gone off. I groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers up over my head. I pondered what awaited me the moment my feet hit the floor. I wasn’t ready for what the day ahead promised: chaos, battles, responsibility.

I have a special needs child with a severe psychological disorder who often drains what little energy I have before breakfast. I admit that most days it’s challenging to drag myself out of bed to fight through another day, yet I know this is what the Lord has called me to.

Obedience is hard. Life is hard. Adulting is really, really hard.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?” my compassionate husband asks seeing my bleary-eyed expression as I stumble out of bed. I admit to him that it’s a day I’m having trouble rejoicing in, though I know it is a precious gift from God. Still, my heart resists what my head knows.

He gives me a sympathetic look and a kiss.

“I’ll call you,” he says, grabbing his lunch and heading out the door, telling me he loves me.

The house is quiet, and I’m left alone with my thoughts before the inevitable chaos ensues. A few moments later my phone rings. My husband and I have gotten into the habit of praying together while he is on his way to work. I admit that there are times, like this morning, that my heart is having trouble finding the words to speak the anguish I’m feeling.

“Help me to love, Lord,” my prayer is practically a whisper as tears begin to sting my eyes. My burden feels heavy, though I hear Him whisper to come to Him so I don’t have to bear it alone. As I’m praying, in His great kindness, He reminds me of another story that I hadn’t thought of in a long time.

The disciples were weary, their hands blistered and cold from letting their nets down all night, only to pull them back up to find them empty. They must’ve been exhausted and concerned. This was their livelihood, after all. How were they going to feed their families if they couldn’t come up with a single fish to sell in the market?

The Master is on the shore looking on and asks to get into the boat. I imagine Peter must’ve made some sort of joke that, without any fish, there was plenty of room for Jesus to join them. And then the Master teaches the hungry souls on the shore, thirsting to hear more of what He has to say. The men in the boat, too, are devouring His words, wanting desperately to understand and absorb all He has to say.

When He has finished speaking He turns to the fishermen, urging them to cast their nets again. Tired, and probably a little irritated, they protest. Doesn’t He know they have labored all night for not a single fish?

I imagine Peter letting out a little chuckle at his own lack of faith.

“But because You have told us so, Lord, we will do it,” he says, remembering again who it is that has commanded him to do so. Peter didn’t know if they would catch two fish or two hundred, but he was confident that if the Lord asked him to do it, it would not be in vain.

The nets begin to break and the boats sink under the weight of such a plentiful, miraculous catch! Only God Himself could’ve ordained it! In his awe, Peter falls down before the Lord, suddenly aware of his own sinfulness, worshiping Jesus as Master and Lord.

As I prayed this morning, the Lord bringing this story to mind, I, too, felt ashamed at my sinfulness and lack of faith. In His kind censure, disciplining me in His astounding love, He beckoned me to cast out my net in obedience again, not knowing what kind of harvest I would reap.

Day after weary day I feel like I cast out my net, seeing little results. And yet, again and again, God calls me to cast it out. It is wearying, to say the very least. Sometimes I ask the Lord for just one fish, one tiny sign that my efforts aren’t entirely in vain. I admit there are so many days when I feel emaciated of love, having given all that I have to not be replenished in return.

But like those people on the shore, hungry for more from the Lord, I need to be filling myself up with His love and His wisdom, not my own. Like the exhausted fishermen, I’ve been relying on my own efforts to see a harvest. Do you suppose that’s why Jesus taught first, filling their hearts before their nets because they needed a reminder of who He was?

When I’m trying to cast my net out without the help of the Lord, it always comes back empty. I feel completely depleted of hope, faith and love, all crucially essential to fight the spiritual battle I know is waiting for me at the beginning of any given day. It’s impossible for me to be obedient to the life He has called me to if I’m not first spending time in fellowship with Him.

So with this reminder, I’m prepared to cast out my net again, not knowing what I’ll reap, but being confident that the Lord will bring about a harvest if I’m faithful to His calling.

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You can check out Courtney’s books at her Etsy shop right here. Let me just say that these books are remarkable. Courtney personalizes books for children, and if you’re looking for a Christmas gift, her personalized books would make unique and special gifts for the children you love! One of my favorite books is her children’s book Little Brown Bonnie. This book brought me to tears the first time I read it. Here’s Courtney’s description of how this book came to be:

“Little Brown Bonnie” was born out of a frustration to understand and connect with my little bunny. Diagnosed with a severe attachment disorder, I was desperate to make any sort of connection with my adopted child. I did what I knew how to do: I wrote. I wrote her a story about a love unending, no matter how scared she was or how suspicious she was of the validity of it. I can honestly say that first book I wrote for her started to bridge the gap as nothing else has. So, I continue to write to help lessen that space between us to help us all to heal.

Whether you are parents through adoption or biology, I think we all have a deep desire to connect with our children. That is the mission of this shop: to help families to bond and make lasting connections. Though we specialize in books for adoptive families, we have a variety of books that speak to kids of all backgrounds!

We hope that this little shop, built on love and hope, brings the same to you and your family.

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Thank you for your words, Courtney! You are such a gift to me and to so many!