10 Ways to Connect With God When He Seems Distant
Most mornings, I gaze at our bird feeder as I sit by the window to connect with God. Today, we awoke to an empty birdfeeder—scant sunflower seeds, black as coal, scattered beneath their plexiglass home.
I watched as goldfinches and house sparrows searched the bottom of the feeder for seeds. They all flitted off disappointed, determined to search for sustenance elsewhere.
As I considered the disheartened birds, I read the prophet Jeremiah’s words about God’s people:
“They have abandoned (rejected) Me,
The fountain of living water,
And they have carved out their own cisterns,
Broken cisterns
That cannot hold water” (Jeremiah 2:13, AMP).
The empty feeder and the ancient words prompted me to consider the empty cisterns I tend to turn to for fulfillment, cisterns like perfectionism, workaholism, and distraction.
How to Connect With God When He Seems Distant
Maybe you can relate. Perhaps you’ve been turning to empty cisterns because the disciplines that once worked for you are no longer helping you connect with God.
If this is the case, we’ll explore ten creative ways to connect with God today.
All of these ideas probably won’t work for you, but I encourage you to read through this list and consider these practices until you find one that moves your heart. Be sure to read to the end of today’s post for a free devotional eBook to help you connect with God.
10 Ways to Connect With God
1. Commit to spending several minutes each day resting in God’s presence.
A few years ago, I read a book that challenged me to spend several minutes each morning sitting with God and doing nothing other than resting in the awareness that he enjoys me.
Over time, this practice has become deeply grounding for me.
I don’t force myself to perform in any way or do anything during this time. I rest with God—and nothing else. It doesn’t feel very productive, but not being productive is the whole point.
Most of us face the temptation to find our identities through what we can produce and achieve. Time spent in stillness with God pulls us out of the frenetic pace of our lives and creates space for him to remind us of the anchor of our identities: his unconditional love for us.
2. Connect with God through worship.
Throughout the past months, God has used worship to heal me, uphold me, and keep my eyes on him in challenging moments. I’ve been reminded that entering into his presence through worship can change the trajectory of an entire day.
Worship lifts our eyes off of our temporal struggles and helps us focus on God’s power, goodness, faithfulness, and provision. Most of us know how it feels to be “stuck inside our heads,” ruminating over concerns, or letting feelings of defeat debilitate us.
At times, breaking free from these mental blocks feels impossible. When this happens, we desperately need to connect with God by fighting the battle in the spiritual realm—above human reasoning.
Worship is warfare. It pulls us above worldly concerns and fixes our eyes on the greatness of our God. This is where breakthrough happens.
If this resonates with you today, here’s a playlist to get you started.
Worship is warfare. It pulls us above worldly concerns and fixes our eyes on the greatness of our God. This is where breakthrough happens. Share on X
3. Connect with God by authentically connecting with other people.
Not long ago, a friend suggested a book called How People Grow by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend (Thank you, friend!). A foundational premise of this book is that we heal and grow through relationships with others.
Seeking God individually is important, but living openly and sharing our hearts with others is essential for growth.
I tend to lean toward independence and introversion, which makes the following reminder from this book especially important for me to remember:
“Many people, however, find themselves cut off from the church and the healing and protective functions it provides. In their isolation—or at least the isolated growth plan they are using—they are easy prey for the gates of hell to overpower them. This is analogous to Jesus’ story about the shepherd and his sheep (Luke 15:3-7). Wolves do not attack an entire herd. They attack the one lamb that has wandered off the path. This is the one who is in danger. As Jesus said, he would leave the ninety-nine to fetch and return the wandering one.”
Throughout the past months, God has healed some deep wounds in my heart, and this has happened exclusively because of the love and care of other people.
As I reflect on this, I’m amazed that God has used the care of others to heal, in a very short period of time, wounds that have existed in the darkness of obscurity for decades. There is power in finding this kind of support. When we bring our secrets into the light with others, those secrets lose their power over us.
4. Begin each day by immediately looking toward God.
Looking toward God before climbing from bed every morning also helps me stay connected with him throughout the day. For several years, I repeated Psalm 118:24 every morning immediately after waking up: “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.”
I don’t always repeat this verse, but I try to begin my days by greeting God, thanking him for his goodness, or taking a moment to surrender the upcoming day to him.
(Read here for more thoughts on speaking God’s Word first thing every morning.)
5. Connect with God by memorizing Scripture.
As I’ve shared in the past, our family memorizes one verse together every week (or two, or three, or four weeks!). We write it on a piece of paper and hang it on the fridge. Every morning, we practice reading and speaking the verse together. This practice renews our minds and shapes our hearts.
Often, I overhear the kids speaking our verses when they face challenging or upsetting circumstances.
God’s Word renews our minds.
Hiding it in my heart helps me keep my thoughts focused on him, provides comfort in difficult moments, and serves as an offensive weapon when the enemy attacks my mind.
6. Connect with God by serving others.
We can also connect with God by asking him to show us the needs surrounding us and stepping up to meet those needs.
Stop to chat with a lonely neighbor, write a note to your child’s teacher, or leave a gift in the mailbox for the mail carrier. Cook your husband’s favorite meal. Pick up trash on the side of the road.
As we serve others, God fills our hearts with his love and joy.
7. Connect with God by ending your days with him.
Before falling asleep at night, I often review the day with God. I sort through what went well and what didn’t. I celebrate the victories and grieve the losses.
Most of the time, I fall asleep during this process. I used to feel frustrated about falling asleep while trying to pray; however, a few years ago, an older, wiser friend asked, “Do you get angry when your kids fall asleep in your arms, or does it feel like a gift?”
8. Enter into God’s Word.
In addition to memorizing Scripture, I’ve learned to read slowly and create space to enter into God’s Word.
I often imagine myself immersed in the scenes described in the Bible. Imagining I’m the blind beggar along the road, an onlooker watching Jesus perform a miracle, or a disciple watching Jesus teach helps me to connect with Jesus in a fresh way every time I read in this way.
9. Connect with God in nature.
Since childhood, I’ve connected with God most easily and naturally in his created world.
God’s created world reveals his glory and magnifies the work of his hands.
Watch the sunset. Take a slow walk through the woods. Hang a bird feeder outside the window. Visit a local park.
Use this time to slow down, sort through your thoughts, and talk to God.
10. Connect with God by facing your feelings with him.
In her new book, I Shouldn’t Feel This Way, Dr. Allison Cook offers a basic framework for bringing our overwhelming emotions to God: First, we ask God to help us specifically identify and name our difficult emotions; second, we frame our emotions by considering how long we’ve been struggling, why we’re struggling, and what we want to be different; third, we brave new paths by taking God-directed action according to our realizations.
Facing difficult emotions is never easy, but learning to work through them with God and others is essential for growth. I’ve learned that God wants to help me name my feelings, sort through them with compassion and curiosity, and follow him into action or resolution.
He is waiting to connect with you, too.
Calling All Parents and Grandparents!
As the parent of two sons and a daughter, I have a heart for helping parents develop deeper relationships with their children and with God. Our kids, ages 7, 12, and 16, share this vision. They have helped me write three family devotionals for parents or older relatives to read with the children and teens they love. I also recently released a teen devotional called Anchored, designed to help teens learn key biblical narratives and apply them to their lives. You can find these books here or read more below. 
Mother-Daughter Devotionals by a Mom and Daughter
Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith is written for girls ages 7-12. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, conversation starters, and a shared journaling section for moms and daughters after each devotion. I wrote this book with the help of our daughter, Bekah, when she was eleven. Find this one-of-a-kind shared devotional here.
Heart to Heart: A Mother-Daughter Devotional With 50 Devotions for Teen Girls is for teenage girls ages 13-20. It includes 50 devotions, each with a shared journaling section to help moms and daughters connect through writing. This is a great book for moms who want to communicate about awkward topics—like dating, sexuality, peer pressure, and more—but don’t know where to start. Bekah and I will help you right here.
Devotions for Boys by Boys
God’s Warrior: Devotions for Boys Who Want to Grow in Courage and Strength helps young boys, ages 5-13, learn what it means to trust God and become strong warriors for his kingdom. Now, more than ever, our world needs men who are willing to boldly carry God’s love into the world. I wrote this boys’ devotional book with our two young sons, Aiden and Caleb, ages six and eleven! You’ll enjoy their honesty as we teach boys how to be strong warriors for the Lord. Find this life-changing devotional book here.
These Books Are Free on Kindle Unlimited: God Wants to Heal, Restore, and Refresh You
God wants to work in your life to accomplish what you’ve been unable to do through willpower alone. He also wants to help you establish a rhythm of meeting with him daily as you trust him with the hard parts of your life. Click here to explore two books that will guide you: Be Still and Trust and Lean Into Grace. They are free on the Kindle Unlimited program and for sale in print.
Download Your Free Devotional Here
Set Free: Let God Do What You Cannot explores ten realms in which most of us need God to work in our lives and bring deliverance. We’ll talk about finding freedom from fear, worry, insecurity, bad habits, emotional pain, and more. This short online devotional will bless you as you let God accomplish what you’ve been unable to achieve through willpower. Get your download for free with promo code GRACE or for a donation of 3.99 here. Thank you. This small gift helps keep this ministry running.
I also offer a library of free online devotional eBooks for free. I invite you to explore the collection right here!
