20 Words of Affirmation for Every Child
I want to build my kids up with the words I speak. Meanwhile, I’ve learned that I need to be intentional in this pursuit. It’s easy to get pulled into the rhythms of our busy lives and neglect opportunities to affirm our kids. If this resonates with you, here are 20 words of affirmation for every child.
May these words encourage you to be intentional in your parenting and in your speech.
20 Words of Affirmation for Every Child
Author Toni Morrison once asked, “When your child walks in the room, does your face light up?”
These words come to my mind often.
I think of these words in the early hours of dawn—when fuzzy heads stumble from their bedrooms and greet me.
I often consider these words when I’m tired at the end of long days.
What do our kids see when our eyes meet theirs?
I want my kids to see love and acceptance. Sadly, I know they sometimes see frustration or impatience.
For this reason, I’ve been working on a list of practical ways to encourage my kids as I remind my face to show them what’s in my heart. I pray these words bless you and the children in your life today.
Author Toni Morrison once asked, “When your child walks in the room, does your face light up?” #parenting Share on X20 Words of Affirmation for Every Child
1. “Tell me more.”
I’ve been reminding myself to look away from whatever task I’m working on, focus on my kids, and listen attentively when they approach me.
I’ve been reminding myself that the moments that feel like interruptions to my work are often my most important work.
This isn’t easy to do when I’m trying not to burn supper or finish a writing project on the laptop. Yet giving them my full attention as often as possible is an affirming gift.
2. “You’ve got this.”
Before the first days of school, big games, or the kinds of pursuits that make my kids feel nervous or insecure, I write encouraging notes and leave them where they will be found.
Life is hard, and the world can be critical. Let’s be the safe places for our children to find identity and confidence. (Click here for 10 one-liners to develop your child’s identity.)
3. “I’m proud of you for working so hard.”
Instead of saying, “Great job on this test; you are so smart,” or, “You are an amazingly gifted athlete,” I try to say, “You worked so hard to earn this grade,” or, “All of your work in practice paid off in the game today.”
Affirming effort over performance teaches our kids that trying hard matters more than being perfect or winning.
4. “Hurting people hurt other people.”
When other kids are mean, I remind my kids that people who are hurting hurt others. Often, this treatment has very little to do with the person who is treated unkindly.
Remind your children that when others are hurtful, it is an indication of the pain inside of the other person, and it usually has very little to do with your child.
Remind your children that when others are hurtful, it is an indication of the pain inside of the other person, and it usually has very little to do with your child. #parenting #hurtpeople #Christianparenting Share on X5. “Your mistakes don’t define you.”
Our kids need to know that their mistakes don’t define them.
We grow through failure. Every setback is an opportunity for growth. Our kids need the reminder that we don’t need to run from the possibility of failure or be ashamed when we do fail.
6. “I’ve got your back.”
Our kids will make mistakes in life, but these simple words remind them that we will always stand with them.
Life is tough. Knowing they have a supportive foundation is truly a game-changer.
7. “I’m sorry.”
This one seems so simple it’s easy to overlook its power.
By humbling ourselves and being willing to apologize to our kids, we build trust. We also set the example of what it looks like to walk in humility, owning our mistakes.
8. “I forgive you.”
Forgiveness lets our kids off the hook. When they make mistakes, they need to know that we are willing to move on.
This doesn’t mean that there won’t be consequences; however, we learn to forgive by being forgiven.
9. “I love you just because you are mine.”
Our kids need to know that they don’t need to do anything to earn our love.
They need to know that we love them when they are succeeding, and we love them when they fail.
Remind your kids that you love them just because they belong to you. This sets them free from the need to perform to earn your love.
10. “What would you like to do for fun together this week?”
When my kids were little, a wise friend spoke these words to me, “Remember that it’s their day, too.”
She was reminding me that accomplishing my daily agenda was not the highest priority. Making time to play with my children and including some activities for them was important.
Even as your kids grow older, keep asking them what they want to do for fun. Set aside time for these pursuits. This will help keep your bonds strong.
11. “How can I support you in this?”
When my kids face troubles, my natural reaction is to try to swoop in and save the day, fixing whatever feels broken.
Instead of fixing our kids’ problems, we offer them a gift by supporting them. Often, by asking this simple question, we receive insight into how to walk this out.
12. “Here are some of the things I really appreciate about you . . .”
We all need people who will build us up and affirm our strengths.
Regularly offer your children this gift, and you will empower them to walk with confidence.
13. “You bring me so much joy.”
Recent discoveries in brain science show that we form secure attachments through joyful interactions.
Do you want a strong bond with your kids?
In addition to smiling when they walk into the room, regularly tell them that they bring you joy. This might feel awkward at first, but it can strengthen your relationship.
14. “I love spending time with you.”
On a similar note, tell your kids that you enjoy them.
I am periodically convicted of not enjoying my kids as I should. It’s easy to fall into the routines of life and fail to find joy in parenting.
Make it a habit to cultivate joy and tell your kids you enjoy them.
15. “I’m proud of you for . . . ”
Our kids need to know we’re proud of them. They also need specific feedback.
What did your child do that made you feel proud? Tell him and be specific.
16. “I believe in you.”
We all face times when we don’t believe in ourselves.
Counteract these moments in your kids’ lives by regularly reminding them that you believe in them.
17. “I’m here for you.”
I encourage you to speak these words and then live them out.
Show up at your kids’ sporting events and performances as often as possible. Be the stable foundation in their lives. When they face stress and doubt, stand with them. Remind them that you are with them.
18. “Nothing could ever make me love you less.”
Most young children struggle with the belief that we love them less when they misbehave.
Regardless of the age of your kids, regularly remind them that nothing could ever make you love them less.
19. “You are brave and strong.”
Most of us face times when we don’t feel brave and strong.
When these times come, we can remind our kids that because God is in them, he gives them all the courage and strength they need. Even when they feel fearful and weak, God’s power works in them to make them brave and strong.
20. “I’m so thankful for you.”
It feels good to be appreciated.
Remind your kids that you’re thankful for them. Tell them that they are gifts in your life and then describe the joy they bring you. We all need this. Your kids face enough ridicule in the harsh world. Be a voice of affirmation in their lives.
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I hope these 20 words of affirmation for every child have blessed you and challenged you to consider the words you speak to your kids. Our words are powerful, holding the influence to uplift or tear down. Thank you for your desire to inspire and encourage your kids.
And now, a life-changing devotional book for every mother (or grandma, aunt, or mentor) and daughter . . . .
A Devotional Book to Help You Encourage Your Daughter
Do you want to open the lines of communication with your daughter, connect on deeper levels, laugh together, and grow in your faith together? Maybe you don’t have a daughter, but you would love to connect with a granddaughter, niece, or younger woman in your life.
If any of this resonates with you, I have a tool to help you. My 12-year-old daughter, Bekah, and I wrote a mother-daughter devotional book together, and it is designed to help moms and daughters connect and grow in faith together.
It’s called Girl to Girl: 60 Mother-Daughter Devotions for a Closer Relationship and Deeper Faith. It includes 60 devotions with Scripture, commentaries from both of us, conversation starters, and even a journaling section. You can buy your paperback or eBook on Amazon right here. This book also makes a powerful gift for the mothers and daughters you care about! We encourage you to check it out!
