6 Prayers for Loving Others Even When They’re Hard to Love
Years ago, God brought an acquaintance into my life who was hard to love. She often called me multiple times per day. She was easily offended and didn’t respect my boundaries. I felt called to continue loving her, but it wasn’t always easy. Today, we’ll explore six prayers for loving others, especially when loving doesn’t come easily.
6 Prayers for Loving Others
Over time, I realized I needed God’s love to pour through me if I was going to carry his love into challenging relationships.
No matter how hard I tried, willpower didn’t help me become more loving. I needed God to work in my heart and give me his love, making me his vessel.
Perhaps someone in your life is difficult to love at times, too.
Let the following prayers for loving others align your heart with God’s heart.
Prayers for Loving Others
1. Ask God to supernaturally fill you with his love.
One of the first steps God led me to take with my difficult friend was to begin praying for her daily. I wrote her name in the front of my journal, next to the names of those for whom I prayed regularly. Every time I prayed for her, I asked God to fill me with his love for her. I also prayed for him to bless her and draw her deeper into his love.
Over time, I noticed a shift in my soul. I started to feel a tender sense of affection when my friend came to mind.
When we pray for others, God fills our hearts with his love and compassion for them. If you are struggling with someone who is difficult to love, I encourage you to start praying for this person daily. You might not see changes in the other person, but God can change you.
Here is a prayer: “God, thank you for your unfailing love for me. I pray you will fill me with your love for those who can be difficult to love. Enable me to look with your eyes and overflow with your compassion.”
2. Ask God to help you see beyond the surface.
There’s always a reason why a person is difficult to love. Part of my prayer for my friend went like this, “God, please help me see beyond the surface and fill me with compassion.”
God began to show me the parts of my friend’s life that had contributed to her personality. She opened up and told me about a difficult childhood and a challenging home life through young adulthood. I was able to see that the abrasive parts of her personality were the result of living in a fallen world, and they weren’t her fault.
Ask God to help you see beyond the surface in your difficult relationships. He can reveal insights that change the way you perceive these relationships.
A few years ago, I heard the story of a tired father on a long bus ride with a rowdy bunch of out-of-control children. A woman on the bus bit her lip as the unruly children bounced off the walls, played games, and made way too much noise. Near the end of the ride, the tired father looked into the irritated woman’s eyes and offered sincere words of gratitude for her patience.
With tears in his eyes, he told her that his wife had just died, and the family was on their way home from the funeral. The children desperately needed to unwind in the aftermath of saying goodbye to their precious mother.
I think of this story often.
We never know what’s happening beneath the surface in another person’s life.
As you ask God to help you love others well—even difficult people—remind yourself that you can’t see that full story in another person’s life from where you’re standing. Ask God to fill you with his grace so that you might offer the same kindness to others as you would hope to receive on your worst day.
As you ask God to help you love others well—even difficult people—remind yourself that you can’t see that full story in another person’s life from where you’re standing. #love Share on X
3. Ask God to remind you of his love for you.
When I’m having a hard time loving someone, I ask God to remind me of his love for me. I remember some of the darkest times in my life—times when I was rebelling against God.
I reflect on the ways God pursued me and delivered me. As I connect with God’s grace, God fills me with his love for others. Because God loved me without conditions when I was most unlovable, I can find it within me to love those who are difficult to love.
Here is a prayer: “Dear Lord, when I’m struggling to love others, please help me look to the cross and remember your love for me. You love me so much that you allowed your Son to take the punishment I deserve. Please fill me with your supernatural love as I aim to love others.”
4. Ask for the Holy Spirit’s help.
I spent close to a decade as a teacher for students with special needs. At times, it was difficult to extend love and patience when certain students pushed certain buttons.
Over time, I learned to ask the Holy Spirit to help me extend God’s love in those moments. Sometimes, he showed me that tough love was needed. I was firm and set boundaries. At other times, he showed me that a child was struggling and helped me extend compassion and tender care.
God knows what others need. He will guide us through his Spirit if we seek his wisdom.
Here is a prayer: “Holy Spirit, I ask you to fill me with your wisdom. Guide me as I interact with others. I want to walk in your power and love others with your love. Thank you for directing me.”
5. Ask God to help you find common ground.
When others are hard to love, it can be helpful to find some common ground. This might be as simple as realizing we both enjoy the same TV show or restaurant. It might be as profound as sharing parts of our stories and realizing that we have similar scars from past pain. Common ground makes it far easier to love those who feel unlovable.
Here is a prayer: “Lord God, I ask you to help me find common ground with this person who is hard to love. Reveal our similarities and deepen our connection. Help me see past our differences as we aim for deeper connection.”
6. Ask God to help you consistently choose kindness.
Ultimately, we won’t always feel like loving those who are difficult. A simple principle can help us in these situations: Choose kindness at all costs.
Here’s a prayer: “Father God, thank you for being kind and patient with me even when I am being difficult. Please help me choose to extend kindness even when it doesn’t come easily. I want to carry your love to others and be your vessel.”
Being kind is always a powerful way to extend God’s love to others.
Reflect:
Ask God to bring to mind someone who is hard to love. How have you been responding to this person? What is God showing you about being loving?
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