When Silence and Solitude Don’t Come Easily
A strong west wind rips across the yard, and the last of the lavender aster petals are finally swept away. I sit by the window, searching for silence and solitude, and the churning of this autumn cold front mirrors the chaos in my mind.
I am an introvert, and I find silence and solitude refreshing most of the time; however, this doesn’t mean quieting my soul always comes easily.
When Silence and Solitude Are Difficult
I am also a do-er, a list-maker, and, sadly, a perfectionist.
I used to think perfectionism was a trait to be admired, but time and experience are teaching me that the pursuit of perfection generally leads a woman to feel like she can never clean enough, pray enough, do enough, and be enough.
These thoughts pass through my wandering mind as I attempt to slow down and connect with the heart of God by the window. Mostly, I connect with my grocery list, weekly menu, and freelance writing schedule.
If you have seriously pursued the disciplines of silence and solitude, I imagine you can relate.
You show up to rest in God’s presence, connect with his heart, listen for his whisper, and find room for your soul to breathe. Instead of finding these gifts, you find that you cannot stop the hamster wheel in your mind.
This is where I challenge us all to pause.
Our racing minds are not our enemies.
On the surface, our racing minds are indicative of hurried, busy, over-booked lives. We might even feel guilty that we struggle to enter into silence and solitude or that we can’t seem to let go of our lists and our plans to fix the world (or at least our own little corners of the world).
What if we didn’t let ourselves embrace guilt over our racing minds, and instead, let God shine his love upon our streaming torrents of scattered thoughts? #seekingGod #quiettime #prayer Share on XHow to Connect With God in Your Quiet Time
I ask myself this question by the window, and it is as if a veil has been lifted. God gently reminds me of his purpose for our time together. He also reminds me of how to connect with him even when my mind is racing.
1. Embrace God’s power in your weakness.
My tendency to pursue perfection extends into the spiritual disciplines I practice, including silence and solitude. I want to show up in my quiet spot and “get it right.” I have a deep desire to be a pro at this discipline, and that means I’m prone to be frustrated when my scattered thoughts hinder me from silence in my mind.
As I watch poplar leaves rip across the deck, I am suddenly aware of a new invitation: Allow your scattered thoughts to help you embrace the imperfect nature of your humanity.
My friend, you don’t need to practice silence and solitude perfectly; you simply need to show up.
God isn’t asking you to be perfect. Show up and let your mind wander. Consider every wandering thought another opportunity to return your gaze to God all over again.
Fifty distracted thoughts in five minutes of silence and solitude can lead you to 50 tender glances in Jesus’ direction. When this happens, Christ’s power will be made perfect in your weakness. He isn’t angry with you.
2. Let your wandering thoughts point to your deeper needs.
God is not giving out gold stickers for those who are able to still their racing minds. Offer yourself the same grace God extends to you. Simply allow your racing thoughts to point to the reality that some subtle shifts might be necessary in your life.
Don’t chastise yourself for your inability to settle. Let that inability lead you toward the change God wants to make in your life as a result of your time in silence and solitude. Perhaps he has called you to this very place so that you will see your deep need.
Your end goal is not practicing silence and solitude perfectly; your end goal is encountering the heart of your Father in heaven. Let your racing mind be the arrow that points to the truth he wants to reveal to you.
3. Let silence and solitude help you release control.
I like to be in charge of my agenda. I enjoy planning my days and watching for measurable outcomes that flow from my plans. Feeling like I am productive is very satisfying for me.
Silence and solitude challenge me to step outside these preferences, as I allow God to be in control. I show up at my quiet spot, and my role is to be still, not to accomplish something spiritually. In this posture, God often meets me in unexpected ways.
He sometimes brings a verse to mind. Other times, there is a gentle wave of conviction over a misspoken word, attitude, or action. Many days, nothing particularly noteworthy happens; I simply show up, aim to calm my racing mind, and let God be God.
The words of Psalm 46:10 often ring out in these times: “Be still and know that I am God.”
For years, I focused on the first part of this verse. I studied it. I learned that being still mimics a posture of loose arms hanging down, a cessation from striving.
Last summer the last four words of the verse caught my attention in a new way: “that I am God.” In silence and solitude, I show up and let God be God. I give him control. I let him come up with the agenda for our time together.
Sometimes, through my racing thoughts, he reminds me that I don’t have to practice silence and solitude perfectly to glean something from it. Other times, he brings rest. Often, I simply walk away knowing he is pleased I made the effort to meet with him. (For a post on how to encounter God in life-giving ways, join me here.)
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